In Mind, In Spirit
by xxNight Angelxx
Summary: Lily has been stuck in a tireslomely boring life but everything changes when she has a nightmare and witnesses a persons death. A spirit, a road trip, a bit of magic and the one and only James Potter, Lily's world could be about to be changed forever.
1. Prologue

**Disclaimer: **I may not own the HP characters, but the others I do, and the plot.

* * *

Morning. Barely. Half two and Lily was only just getting in. She had been working her tedious job at a local restaurant, it wasn't great but it paid the bills and put her through university. Long gone were the old days when she spent her days at boarding school with friends, holidays with her family. Long gone. Her parents were dead, killed, and her sister had disowned her, she had lost contact with her friends. She spoke to Dave occasionally but that was it. Her life now was empty, she knew no one but those on her course and her workmates, but none of them could be considered friends, she got up each today to study and work, study and work. She didn't exactly hate it, but she could hardly claim she loved her life.

So, half two in the morning, she returned to her poky little flat and, after giving her cat some milk, headed up to bed. Exhausted, she fell asleep instantly.

_She walked down a busy street, weaving her way between the playing children. She didn't seem to be in control of where she was going, as though someone else was controlling her. There was music playing loudly in her ears, a group she didn't like – Raven Yestaday. She continued walking, driven by some unknown force. Her arm lifted and she waved at a woman a few years older than herself. The woman was dressed in some old, faded jeans and a string-top that was semi-covered in mud. She was gardening. The woman waved back when she saw Lily._

_She walked towards the woman, crossing the road, and then everything happened all at once. The woman's warm smiling face changed into one of scared horror as she shouted something Lily couldn't hear for the music blasting in her ears. Out of the corner of her eye she saw the playing children running onto the paths beside the road but by the time she saw what they were running from it was too late._

_A car hurtled down the road and slammed into her, knocking her body to the ground. Lily, though, remained upright and when she looked down she saw she wasn't the one who had been hit. On the floor lay a young man with earphones hidden under his long blonde hair clear-blue eyes looking at her with a mixture of sadness, pain and pleading, his face was bloodied, his clothes were torn and he lay at odd angles. He was dying. Lily knew it, and so did he._

_No one seemed to be coming to help him. He lay there in complete agony and, as she looked around, no one was coming to his aid. Or at least, not fast enough, they were moving in slow motion so she crouched beside him. She put her hands out to tend to one of his cuts but they just passed straight through him. She tried again and again but the same thing happened. Unable to help she backed away from him slowly. That's when he tried to speak._

_She moved back in, her ear right by his mouth and heard him croak, "Help me."_

_She looked at him, "There's nothing I can do."_

_"Help me." He repeated._

_"How?" she asked, tears running down her face at the knowledge that she couldn't do anything._

_But there was no reply. She watched as his eyes slowly closed and felt as his heart slowed to a stop. Then everything was back to its normal speed and people came running towards him, passing straight through her. Then she heard a terrified scream from the lady doing the gardening. "Nooo!"_

Lily awoke with the screaming in her ears. In her tired state she struggled to read the display on her alarm clock; 04:00 it flashed. She groaned, she'd been struggling to sleep for weeks now and the one day she actually managed it she woke up because of a bad dream. How childish. She rolled over, trying to sleep once more but it wouldn't come to her. "I hate this," she muttered, giving up and getting out of bed, heading for the kitchen.

She made herself a cup of coffee and headed for the living room. She switched on the TV but she didn't watch it, it was just on for background noise. She stared blankly, nursing the coffee, holding it for warmth. Her cat, Sooty, jumped onto the couch beside her.

"Hey," Lily said quietly. "You're a good boy aren't you? You always know when you're needed."

Sooty curled onto her knee and she laughed as she stroked him. As she thought and stroked Sooty she noticed the TV was flickering. She looked at it and watched as the picture of a young girl grinning insanely faded and the TV went black. Then a face appeared on the blackness, blonde hair, clear blue eyes and a pair of earphones in his ears. The man from her dream. "Help me," the voice said but Lily couldn't tell if it was in her ears or her head. She blinked and when she looked back at the screen the young girl was back again.


	2. A Visit at Work

A month had passed since that night but the memory of it stuck in Lily's head like no other. It had prevented her from sleeping the first week, getting a couple of hours at the most over the next few weeks. She was exhausted, and more importantly, she was making herself ill. She was so tired she couldn't eat, she couldn't concentrate and she was clumsier than she had ever been before. Who knew how many dishes she'd broken at the restaurant? And somehow she was still struggling on.

Occasionally she'd hear a man's voice saying, "Help me," but she could see no one to help. She sometimes woke up and thought she saw a man's figure, too, but there was never anyone when she looked properly. She was, as far as she could tell, being haunted by her imagination, as though she knew someone she could help and helping them would make up for being unable to help her own parents. But the man, she didn't know him, the voice wasn't familiar and he wasn't real. Even if he was, she couldn't help him, she was a twenty-year old girl who suffered from nightmares and was alone in the world, how could she help anyone?

So here she was, a tired, nervous wreck, fighting to make it from day to day, on her way to work. She walked the fifteen-minute journey, afraid to use her car in case she fell asleep and crashed. She preferred to walk this route anyway, it was peaceful and the air helped keep her exhaustion at bay, besides, was it really worth driving such a short distance? She arrived at work and headed to the staff room to get her shoes out of her locker.

"Hey Joe," she said as she walked past her boss.

"Evans, yer look rough, yer sure yer should be workin'?" Joe could be a strict old man but he had a soft spot for his workers, thinking of them like a family.

"Gee, thanks. I'll be fine. I just need to get some sleep."

"Well if yer sure…"

Lily nodded and entered the locker room. It was empty and quiet. Good. She opened her locker and took out her flat black shoes, putting her old trainers in. She was about to close the door when something caught her eye. She took the small packet out and looked at them. Caffeine pills, just what she needed, but they weren't hers. She didn't like tablets of any kind, so where did these come from? She decided they must have fallen through a gap between her locker and the persons above so slipped them into her pocket and headed back out.

"Hey, Joe?" She called to him through the kitchen door.

"Yeah?" He asked, coming to the door to meet her.

"Whose locker is above mine?" She asked.

"Yer twen'y-eigh' right?" Lily nodded, Joe thought. "No one."

Lily frowned. "You're sure?"

"Sure as I'm standin' here. Why?"

Lily shook her head. "Never mind. I'm probably just going crazy."

Joe smiled. "Happens to the bes' of us, now get out there and wait!"

"Yes sir," Lily joked and went into the main restaurant to take an order.

Her shift was going fine. A few of the regular customers had commented that she should take a rest because she wasn't looking too good but Lily just smiled, made some joke and carried on. She was feeling tired but the restaurant was busy that day so she didn't really get time to rest and she hadn't broke one thing…Not yet anyway.

"I hope you enjoyed your meal," she gushed at a couple she had never seen before. "Would you like anything else?"

"Just the bill please," the man answered.

"Certainly sir, one moment." Lily picked up the plates and headed to the back room with them.

She went through the double doors that led to the back. "Bill for table seven," she called through the kitchen door.

"Two minutes," a voice called back.

She leaned against the wall opposite as she waited, exhaustion threatening to take her over. After the longest two minutes of her life a man came through the kitchen door. Lily paid him no attention as she took the small dish and its contents and headed back out into the restaurant.

It was then that she heard the pleading voice in her head, "Help me."

She spun back around so fast that it was a miracle she didn't lose her balance. Before her stood the man who had haunted her for the past month only this time he wasn't wearing his usual faded jeans and black t-shirt covered in blood. He was wearing a white chefs outfit. Lily gasped.

"Who are you?" she asked him but there was no reply as he vanished right in front of her eyes.

She nearly dropped the dish she was holding, what was that? Shaking with fear she went out into the restaurant and gave the couple their bill, apologising for their wait, then she went back into the back and entered the locker room. She opened her locker and took out a bottle of unopened water, taking a sip to calm her nerves. As she sat, something fell from her pocket. The caffeine pills. She picked them, silently debating whether to take some or not. In the end she decided for not, not yet anyway. Maybe in a few days if her inability to sleep got worse.

She didn't know how long she was there, 5 minutes? 10? An hour? It didn't seem to matter as she thought about what was happening to her. Was she going crazy? Or was a ghost wanting her help really haunting her? She didn't realise when others came into the room and got their things before leaving. She didn't notice that Joe had come into the room and was sat beside her. Or that he was talking to her.

"Evans? Lily are yer alrigh'?" He waved a hand in front of her unfocussed eyes, shattering her reverie.

"Yeah, Joe, I'm fine." She answered, though she didn't really sound it.

"Well yer don' seem it. Yer look like yer seen a ghos'."

"I have," she muttered quietly.

However quiet she spoke, in the eerie quiet of the locker room it seemed to be echoing louder and louder.

"Wha' d'yer mean?" Joe's concern for her showing through.

"Nothing. Never mind." She stood up. "I suppose I'd better get back out there and serve."

"We're closed," Joe said, pulling her back down.

"What? What time is it?"

"Two a.m. I was jus' lockin' up when I saw the ligh' on in here."

"Oh…I'm sorry. I'll make up the time…"

"Don't worry abou' it, yer were better off in 'ere anyway, at leas' yer didn' break any crockery today."

Lily gave him a wry smile. "Thanks."

"So…wha's wrong?"

"If I tell you, you'll think I'm mad."

Joe shrugged, "I already do."

Again Lily smiled before answering. "Fine. About a month ago I had this dream, a guy died, only before he did he asked me for help but there was nothing I could do. Now I can't sleep and when I do it's only for an hour or so and I see him a lot. In my flat, in the street, in here even, and every time he asks me the same thing – to help him."

Joe sucked in some air loudly then exhaled slowly. "Do yer feel guilty? Abou' not bein' able ter help him."

Lily thought about it. "I…I suppose…But there was nothing I could do and I didn't even know him. I shouldn't feel guilty!"

"Doesn' matter," Joe said. "Yer wanted ter help and there was nothin' yer could do. Yer need ter go 'ome an' yer need ter confron' tha' ghos' friend o' yours."

Lily looked at him like he was crazy. "I don't think so, Joe. I mean, I'm glad for your help, and I might be going crazy, but I'm not that crazy."

Joe laughed. "Yer choice Evans, bu' yer won' res' 'til yer do."

"If you say so," she said as she stood up. "I'll see you tomorrow ok?"

Joe shook his head. "Take a week off, take two even."

"But…"

"No buts, jus' get some rest. I'll see you in a couple of weeks."

Lily smiled sadly, she preferred going to work - it gave her a distraction. "If you're sure…"

"'Course I'm sure, now get goin' 'fore I change my mind."

She nodded and left, walking the fifteen-minute walk home. She had two weeks off; she needed to get some help, whether it was professional or otherwise. As much as she hated to admit it, it was her only choice. She had to go back.


	3. Going Back

Lily sighed as she made her way from her shower to her bedroom. She couldn't believe she was going to do this, not after everything that had happened. She swore two years ago she would never go back to that world and yet here she was, getting ready to go back. But, as much as she feared it, she knew it was the only choice she had if she were to solve the problem of her haunting. The "Help me"s and visitations were wearing her down and unless she did something about them soon she'd most likely collapse of exhaustion.

So she dressed and she dried her hair and she left for the bar where she was meeting Dave, fear and anxiety at the forefront of her mind.

"Just a water please," she ordered to the barman who sighed at the order.

"Tap, still, mineral, fizzy…" He began rattling a list off.

"Oh, whichever," she answered tiredly.

The barman grabbed a bottle, "Mineral it is then."

"Fine," she said, handing over the money and taking a seat at a table in the corner.

Five minutes later a voice spoke to her, "Hey, Lily."

She smiled up at Dave. "Do you want a drink?" She asked him, standing up.

"Sit down, I'll get it myself."

Lily did as she was told and a minute or two later Dave was back with a glass in his hand.

"So what's this all about?" he asked as he sat down.

She told him a brief version about how she was struggling to sleep so as not to worry him.

"…And the doctor can't find a cause so I kind of need…"

"To go back. I get it. You need help?"

Lily nodded weakly. "I know I swore I wouldn't but I'm desperate."

Dave took her hand across the table. "You don't need to explain. When do you want to do it then?"

"Today?"

"Sure," Dave said, a surprised smile on his face.

An hour later the two made their way to a small run-down looking pub.

"You mind if we go through?" Dave asked the barkeeper, who shook his head in reply.

"Can you remember the numbers?" Dave asked Lily as they passed through the back door, coming out into a tiny flagged garden inside a high wall.

"Three up, two across," Lily answered almost automatically.

Dave smiled at her recall. "Right then," he pulled a long, thin piece of wood from his pocket and tapped the offending brick on the wall.

"You know," Lily said as he did this. "I'm not sure this is a good idea."

"Lily…" he said patiently.

"I know. But what if something happens."

"I'm here, don't worry." He finished as the wall opened up to reveal a busy alley.

Like the first time she had stepped through the wall, Lily was in awe at the sight around her. People dressed in different styles rushed up and down, shops proclaiming things she'd never even heard of stood in rows down the alley.

"It's been so long since I've been here," Lily gasped, fighting the urge to go into Flourish and Blotts and buy a book.

Dave smiled. "Come on, you can reminisce later."

Lily nodded, "Okay. Where do I go then?"

"Knockturn Alley," Dave said, heading towards it.

"What? No!" Even if she had been away, Lily remembered what a horrible place that was, full of darkness and evil.

"It's the only place you're going to find what you want," Dave pointed out, then turning to her and seeing her hesitation he paused. "Do you want me to go and you look around here?"

Lily very nearly agreed but a cold wind swept down the alley and fear at being back flooded her. "No, I'll come. Sooner I go, sooner I can get back, right?"

Dave smiled, "Right."

They entered Knockturn Alley and immediately people came out of the black shadows offering curses and potions, Lily clung to Dave tightly. He confidently led her to a small shop at the end of the row and Lily was surprised when she stepped in. It wasn't as bad as she'd imagined. In an attempt to cheer the place up, the walls were painted a light blue. Shelves were stocked with both normal magical items and the more curious ones found in this alley. There was no one on the shop floor so Dave rang a small bell on the counter.

A small woman dressed in a pale green robe came out from the back. "Yes?"

"Hi, we were wondering if you had anything that could help us with…" Dave began but Lily cut him off.

"I want a Defero Orb," she said quickly.

"A Defero Orb? But you can't use one of them," Dave said shocked.

The small woman looked at her curiously. "Why would you want one of them?"

"Do you have one or not?" Lily asked, avoiding the question.

"Yes," the woman said slowly. "But I don't think I should give it to you. Dangerous, they are."

"I know the risks," Lily answered shortly. "But believe me, the risks of not using one are a lot worse."

"But you're muggle-born. It increases the danger…" This was Dave telling her, not the shop clerk.

"I know!" She cried, annoyed that people were trying to stop her. "But please, it has to be done."

The woman nodded, seeing something in Lily's eyes, fear, despair, hope, pleading, she wasn't sure what it was but she sensed that this was important to her. She walked into the back of the shop to get the Orb.

While the woman was out back, Lily busied herself looking at the curiosities of the shop, avoiding Dave's attempts at trying to stop her. She picked up few potion ingredients and headed back to the counter, as soon as she reached there the woman arrived back.

"Here it is," she said holding it out in an open box for Lily to look at.

"That'll do nicely, thank you. I'll have these too thanks." Lily handed over the ingredients she'd selected and the money to pay for them.

"Alright, good luck dear, you'll need it."

Lily just smiled and nodded and left the shop, Dave trailing behind her.

"Lily," he said, grabbing the back of her coat to make her stop. "Are you really going to use that thing?"

"I bought it didn't I?" she asked, motioning for him to walk with her back to Diagon Alley.

"Yeah, I know, but…"

"But what?"

"Well, what if something happens. If something goes wrong the luckiest thing that could happen would be for it to kill you and you don't want that do you?"

"Don't I?" she asked, brushing a strand of her red hair from her face with a sigh. "Look Dave, I have no family willing to speak to me after what happened, you're my only friend and I'm stuck in a dead end job that, as great as it can be, the crap that comes with it is a lot worse than any enjoyment I get out of it. And to top it all off I'm being stalked by the spirit of a dead guy I never even met when he was alive.

"If I died today, you'd be the only one it would affect and I bet you'd get over it soon enough. At least this way I can try and help someone like I should have done before. And if I die trying then I'll get away from this spirit, whoever he was."

"Lily, what happened before…It wasn't your fault, there was nothing you could have done. Risking your life to help this spirit isn't going to change that."

"No," Lily agreed entering the cauldron shop. "But it'll help me. Don't you get it? I have to do this."

Dave nodded, "Alright, fine. I suppose you'll want your wand back?"

The question hit Lily hard. She'd been buying these magical items and it hadn't really registered but realising she'd be getting her wand back, fully entering the Magical World once more it scared her. She trembled slightly as she nodded. "Do you have it?"

Dave pulled it out of an inside pocket in his jacket. "Here, I kept it nice for you."

Slowly she took the wand from him, sparks flew from it the second her finger touched it. Her hand clasped around it and a familiar but forgotten sense of belonging and warmth spread through her. She smiled.

"Thank you," she pocketed the wand and grabbed a small cauldron, paid for it and stood back with Dave. "Up for some of that reminiscing you talked about?"

Dave laughed, "Sure thing. Florean's first?"

Lily grinned childishly. "You read my mind."

The two went to the ice cream parlour where they sat outside with their ice creams talking about the times they'd had and the people they'd met at Hogwarts. Dave told her what all their old friends were doing now, and some of their enemies. When they'd finished their ice creams, Lily dragged Dave around some of her old favourite shops. They continued to chat and Dave told her about some of the bog gossip and scandals she'd missed out on, including some about one of their own school co-pupils.

"You're kidding?" Lily asked stunned. "James Potter, in trouble with the Ministry? It doesn't really surprise me; he always was a prat and a fool. What did he do? Use one of his stupid pranks to blow up a section of the Ministry or something?"

Dave's face didn't smile at the humour in Lily's voice, he remained sombre. "No, they say he attacked someone, a young girl in her final year at Hogwarts. An interview with her was published in the Daily Prophet and the description she gave was James Potter alright, right down to the stupid windswept hair. And of course, Potter's gone missing, hasn't been seen since that night, which doesn't do much to prove his innocence."

Lily looked at Dave in shock. "I can't believe it."

Dave shrugged, "That's what I've heard. Anyway, we should be going, it's getting late."

"Yeah, right," Lily said. From then until they reached Lily's flat the conversation was rather dismal and easy going, ceasing when they reached the flat and Dave went home.

Lily fed Sooty before going to her room and unpacking the things she had bought that day. In the centre of her room she lit a small fire with her wand and placed the cauldron above its frame. She then put in some of the ingredients; frog eyes, fish tails, rat teeth, and added a little water to the mix. She stirred it with the handle of her wand before adding slug trail and spider legs. Once more she stirred the thick mixture until it turned a blood red colour. With it ready she took the cauldron of the handle and, with her other hand covered in a tea towel, steadied the cauldron so that she could pour the mixture into a circle on the floor. The circle was large enough for a person to stand in and in its centre Lily placed the Defero Orb. She pricked her finger with a knife and let a drop of blood fall onto the Orb.

It shimmered and, seeing it as the right time, Lily pointed at the Orb with her wand and said, "Ostendestri." The Orb shimmered and glowed, a mist filled the room, swirling around Lily, filling her nostrils her mouth, she couldn't breathe. She began to choke on the dense mist that surrounded her and then, just when she was about to give in, it vanished and in the centre of the circle stood the man with long blonde hair and clear blue eyes. He was taller than Lily by a few inches and well built. If he was alive, he would probably be the kind of person Lily would imagine being with and marrying, having a family with and growing old together. She took a gulp of air.

"Who are you? What do you want from me?" she asked the figure, for he was not really solid to be considered a man, but nor did he have the same almost clear quality that the ghosts of Hogwarts had.

_"My name is Lee Morris, or at least, it was. I need your help Lily."_

Lily looked at him startled. "How do you know my name?"

_"I know everything about you, that's why I picked you."_

"To do what? I don't understand what I can do."

_"You witnessed my death; I need you to go visit my wife. She saw it too but she can't move on from it. I need her to; I need her to carry on with her life. You, you can help her."_

"How?"

_"You were there; you already have a connection with her. You witnessed people you loved die and know the helplessness a person feels when they realise there's nothing they can do to stop it. I just need you to help her, make sure she gets on with her life so that I can move one too."_

"Why don't you just talk to her? Like you did to me. Follow her until she thinks she's going crazy and then talk to her yourself."

The figure sighed sadly. _"I've tried Lily. She is grieving too much, I can't get through."_

"What makes me so special then? Why can you 'get through' to me?"

_"Because,"_ he said with great effort. _"You feel loss and guilt in epic proportions, but you do not let it drag you down. You carry on and you battle, but you are aware of what has happened and what is happening. You're special Lily."_

Lily looked at him, he seemed to be fading; the spell was ending.

"Get in the Orb," Lily cried at him.

_"I…ca…can't,"_ Lee stammered. _"I've used too…too much energy…"_

Once again Lily pointed her wand at the Orb. "Sinovado!" she commanded the Orb.

It shimmered and Lee's figure was sucked into the Orb in an almost comic-like fashion. His legs became squashed together as they were drawn into the round glass ball, then his waist, his chest, his shoulders, his neck and finally his head. His eyes bulged out at the strain of such squeezing. When he was all in Lily picked up the Orb and brought it to her face. Lee could be seen inside through the clear glass.

"You'll be safe in there," she told him. "And tomorrow we shall set off to visit your wife. First, I must sleep and make sure Dave can look after Sooty, but I'll do that in the morning."

She placed the Defero Orb onto her bedside stand and went into the kitchen to make herself something to eat. She and Sooty watched a little television before Lily went to bed at around 11 o'clock. For the first time in what felt like an age, Lily slept the whole night through uninterrupted.


	4. On The Run

Darkness. Chills. Five in the morning, James rose off the prickly hay and grabbed his bag. He had to keep moving, he couldn't stay in one place for too long or they'd track him down and he couldn't let them catch him.

**A few weeks earlier: **"Two minutes," James slurred, taking a swig from his Fire Whiskey.

Sirius barked with laughter. "Yeah righ', to ge' a slap mebbe."

James shook his head. "I can ge' 'er," with a swaying head he looked from Sirius to Peter to Remus and back again. Each of his three friends had a look of pure disbelief on their faces. "Alrigh', if I don' 'ave 'er fallin' fer me in two minutes I'll…"

"You'll what?" Remus asked clearly. He had drunk the least out of the four and was obviously not affected by the large quantities of alcohol, or at least very little.

"Shhh…" James hissed loudly. "I'm tinkin'…"

"If 'e doesn' 'e's goin' 'ome wit' 'er," Sirius announced even louder, pointing at a woman as she passed.

"I'm no' tha' drunk, I can still see she's a banshee."

"Exackly," Peter squeaked higher than usual. "She's abou' the bes' yer gonna ge' t'nigh'."

James downed the last of his Fire Whiskey. "Alrigh' I'll show yer," he said as he stood up, banging into the table as he did. "Yer'll see."

He stumbled over to where a girl about his age was sat. She wore a red halter neck top and a short black skirt on a beautifully tanned body. She was thin, had pretty blue eyes and sleek and straight light brown hair. She was the kind of person who didn't need to wear make-up but when she did it made her look even better.

"Wanna drink?" James asked when he reached her.

She looked him up and down with a dirty look and turned from him.

He stepped back into her view sight. "I'm a Quidditsch player you know? How abou' me an' meh broom show yer a few moves?"

The woman's look changed from one of looking down on an inferior to pure disgust. "Get away from me you loser." She stood up and walked away, but not before giving James a sharp slap across the face.

"Oooh!" Peter winced as Sirius howled at the sight.

"Bad luck," Remus said when James got back, he sounded sympathetic but a tone in his voice suggested he maybe thought James deserved it.

"No ma'er," James shrugged it off as he looked around the room for another woman to try it on with, trying to stall Sirius' choice in woman. His eyes fell on the woman who had just slapped him as she left the club. "I'll jus' go give it anuvver try, if I'm no' back in ten minutes don' worry abou' me."

He stumbled after the woman, finally catching up with her a street away.

"'Scuse me, love," he called after her.

She turned around and, when she saw who it was, turned away. "Get lost!"

"I wanted to apologise," he slurred at her.

"Oh?" She turned back again, a little curious.

"Yeah, I was jus' tryin' to win a be' wi' meh friends. Sorry if ah upse' yeh."

She listened to his drunken apology and a small smile crept onto her face. "What was the bet?"

"To ge' lucky wi' a beautiful woman."

Her smile grew slightly. "And I was her? Then I guess I should be flattered. Come on, I'll go for a walk with you."

James grinned and the two walked around the town for a little bit, talking, before going to hotel to spend the night. James got the Honeymoon Suite and ordered a bottle of champagne to be sent up to their room. James did in fact 'get lucky', falling asleep afterwards. When he awoke his head pounded with pain, as though he were being stabbed with one thousand needles over and over again and he looked at the high ceiling above him, not recognising it. He looked around the room and didn't see anything that looked familiar to him but saw the room was in a state. Furniture was broken and glass and wood splinters covered the floor, there was a red liquid in some places too. Finally James' eyes looked down and saw the sheets printed with a small insignia, "The Crescent Hotel," that he realised he must be there, but he didn't remember getting there, or any of the events from the night before come to think of it so he had no excuse for the state of the room.

He groaned as he sat up, "How much did I drink last night?" he wondered aloud as the pain got worse.

He hurried to the bathroom where he splashed cold water on his face, drinking some to help soothe his aching throat. Looking in the mirror he saw his continuously messy hair was even worse than when he usually got up and his eyes were hideously blood shot. But that isn't what caught his attention. He was more drawn to the dried blood above his eye and on his lip. Looking down at his hand he noticed that they too were bloodied and cut. James frowned, unable to remember where he had got them.

He went back into the bedroom where, for the first time, he noticed a girl lying on the bed besides where he had been. As he got closer he became horrified. The girl lay on the bed covered in blood, scratches and bruises littered her body and she had at least one deep cut for there was an ever increasing pool of blood on the once pristine white sheets below here. On the floor beside her there lay a smashed bottle of champagne. Too scared to do anything else, James hurriedly put on his clothes and left the hotel, not telling anyone about the girl upstairs.

When he got home James went in the shower, turning the hot water as high as it'd go. He scrubbed himself raw, in some places he was still bleeding, until finally he got out. He was disgusted with himself, he couldn't remember what had happened, but he had ideas in his head that it had been him who had done that, who else could it have been? There was no one in the room. And even if it wasn't him, he had just left that girl alone in the room and told no one, he didn't even know if she were dead or alive.

**- - - - -**

"You horrible man!" James' mother cried the next day. "I can't believe you would do something like that."

James looked at his parents wide-eyed. "Mum..."

"Get out!" she shouted at him. "I don't want you in this house."

"Dad…" he tried again with his father.

"You heard your mother. We don't want here James. We've always put up with your nonsense but this is taking it too far."

"But…"

"James, go!"

Tears stung James' eyes as he went upstairs and packed a rucksack full of a few clothes and personal belongings. He tried to talk to his parents before he left but his father was busy comforting his mother who was in floods of tears. Even the house elves wouldn't talk to him as they lined up to watch him go. The whole attitude of the house had become rather subdued. James reached the door and turned back to look at the house. He bent down and said to the head elf, "Tell them…Tell them I'm truly sorry."

Then, with one last look around his childhood home, James left, never to return again.

He apparated to Sirius' house.

"Padfoot?" He croaked.

Sirius appeared immediately. "James! Please, don't tell me it's true."

James hung his head in shame. "I don't remember…"

Sirius snorted, "Don't pull that shit on me, Prongs. Everyone knows about this now, everyone's seen the Prophet. Just tell me the truth; I'll stand by you no matter what."

"Me too," Remus said as he stepped forward behind Sirius.

"And me," squeaked Peter who brought up the rear.

"I am," James said. "I don't remember anything that happened."

"James, don't be stupid, of course you do," Remus stated.

James let out a groan. "I wish I did, I wish I knew. Then at least when I get thrown in Azkaban I'll know it's the right punishment."

"It's not going to come to that," Sirius said.

"Of course it is!" James exclaimed. "She's in critical condition, not expected to live the rest of week."

"She was well enough to be interviewed by the Prophet," Peter pointed out. "And Skeeter did write it, you know she exaggerates."

"But everyone believes her, even you guys, and I don't even know if I did it. Oh, I have to go; I need to do something to prove I couldn't have done this."

He was about to disapparate when he Sirius speak. "No, if you go anywhere they'll get you. Just tell us what happened and we'll help you."

James frowned but relayed what little he did remember; when he was done he looked straight at Sirius. "How long are they going to be?"

It was Sirius' turn to hang his head in shame as he tried to avoid his best friend's hard stare. "About two minutes," he muttered.

James nodded, "Its ok, I understand."

"Well you shouldn't." Sirius growled. "We're Marauders, we don't betray each other," he gave a cold look at Peter, who had been the one to inform the Ministry when James had first arrived, and at Remus whose idea it had been in the first place. James couldn't see the look on Sirius' face when he looked at Remus but Remus nodded in response to whatever it was.

"He's right," Remus spoke up. "We don't. Go, we'll say Peter got confused or that you escaped before we had chance to put the charm on you. Keep moving, but don't apparate, they can track you. Transform if you must."

James smiled at his friends. "Thanks guys, I swear if I could, I'd die for you all."

Sirius looked at his best friend before quickly hugging him, not caring how un-manly it seemed, he was like a brother to him. "Don't do anything any more stupid, ok? We'll try and sort everything out. Use the mirror if you remember anything or need any help."

James nodded before looking at each of his three friends. "I solemnly swear I am up to no good," he told them with a heartbreakingly heavy smile before he vanished from their sight.

"Mischief managed," the three who remained said solemnly. The second they finished speaking five loud pops sounded and a voice boomed.

"James Potter, stay where you are, you are wanted by the Ministry for questioning about a rape and attempted murder. I repeat stay where you are, you cannot escape."

"Too late boys," Sirius said, smiling at the irony. "He escaped before we could even get the charm on him. Looks like you're going to have to use someone else to get him."

The leader of the Ministry group glared at the smug look on Sirius' face, tempted to arrest him for preventing the course of justice but that wasn't his job. "Guess we will," he muttered before signalling to move out.

Five pops sounded again and Sirius turned to look at Peter and Remus. "What?" he asked at the appalled look on Remus' face.

"Don't antagonize them, they're already on red alert, they can arrest anyone for practically anything now."

Sirius shrugged, "How long are they going to hold me for telling the truth?" He pointed out. "And besides, it's you two they should arrest, turning on your friend like that."

Remus sighed wearily. "Sirius we went through it and all agreed, we thought it was for the best."

"No," Sirius said as he headed back to the kitchen to get a snack. "You two decided and thought it was for the best. Not once did I agree to it, but it doesn't matter, James is free for a little longer and that's all that matters."

"Yeah," Peter said slowly. "But is it really such a good thing? They're only going to come down harder on him if and when they find him."

Sirius shot him a dirty look but inside he knew it was true and as the three boys tried to work out a way to help clear James' name with just the few facts he gave them and their knowledge of him, a heavy sinking feeling in the heart came across all three of them.

**Back to now: **Sneaking out of the barn before day break so as to avoid its farmer owner, James cut his leg on a rough piece of wood. He cursed quietly and looked down at it, it was a small cut but it was bleeding profusely. Wincing he hurried off the large field, deciding to tend to his leg once he was on the road again, if he slowed down now the farmer might catch him and he was in no state to fight back.

He got off the field but didn't stop, he'd been doing this for a few weeks now, and he knew the drill. Stay in any one place for only a few hours and then get moving again, distance yourself a couple of miles before stopping again, that way people are less likely to spot you. And so far that had been true, few people had seen him, and those who did paid little attention because of his haggard appearance. He was a beggar to them, a homeless man you are to pay little attention to in case their problems spread to you. He preferred it this way, no one would recognise him and so he couldn't be tracked down, but of course, he would have preferred it more if none of this had happened. This life, it wasn't one anyone should live, especially not him. Local Quidditch Team captain, Auror-in-training and a very popular guy with the guys and the ladies; that was who he was, not this poor snivelling excuse of a man.

He'd lost track of how many days he'd been avoiding the world, how long it had been since he'd last showered and had a proper meal, the whole ideas of them seemed like far-away possibilities, dreams of a mad man. He was barely surviving and doubted he would be at all if it weren't for his special ability, and for more than once he was glad it was kept a secret from the Ministry. His ability to change into an animal, his animagus form of a stag that he learnt in his 5th year at Hogwarts, was an ability only his three closest friends knew about, and that was only because they too were illegal animagi. Done to keep Remus company on his werewolf nights, James, Sirius and Peter decided to keep Remus company without the risk of becoming werewolves themselves. For years they tried until finally they managed and the stag, the dog and the rat were finally able to be with their friend on some of the hardest nights of his life. It was a hard and dangerous task, and for it the Ministry prefers to keep track of all animagi so that they can tabs on their use, James and his friends, however, remained unregistered. This was coming in handy now as James was able to shift into his animal form and scout for food in forests and woods without the risk of being spotted by people, it also came in handy on those occasions he came close to being caught by the Ministry.

He reached a small country road and saw a small wooded area across the lane. Changing into his stag form, James cautiously walked across the road, there was only one car but he had never liked walking in public areas as a stag, it made him uncomfortable. So carefully he walked and, about one metre from the other side, a car hurtled into his side and the next thing James Potter saw black.


	5. Adventure Awaits

The morning she was due to leave arrived quickly but, having slept through the night, Lily felt ready to face anything, which was just as well considering what was to come. After showering, making and eating some toast and sorting out her mess of a hair, Lily left her tiny flat with a small rucksack of clothes, a cat carrier with Sooty in and the Orb, proof that the previous night hadn't all been some kind of dream.

She got into her Mini Cooper and headed off, stopping at Dave's house for a moment first. She knocked on his door loudly.

"Wha…?" a messy-haired, blurry-eyed, barely able to talk Dave asked when he opened the door. Seeing who it was he straightened up slightly. "Bit early isn't it?"

Lily smiled apologetically. "Oh, you were sleeping, sorry."

Dave shook his head, "No, I just like walking around my house like this. Never mind that though, why are you here? Did something happen yesterday?"

Lily remembered the thick fog, choking her, making her unable to breathe and, unknowingly, took a deep breath. "No, everything went fine. In fact, it went so fine, that I'm going away for a couple of days to sort some stuff out and I was wondering…"

Dave eyed her curiously then saw the cat carrier. "No," he cut her off.

"Please?"

"No."

"Pretty please?" she pulled a begging face.

Dave still shook his head.

"Why not?" she asked him, realising he wouldn't give in.

"Because I hate cats, I told you that when you bought her in sixth year, remember?"

"But she likes you, she won't try to scratch your eyes out like your Nan's cat did."

Dave still shook his head.

"I'll pay you," she offered.

"With what?" Dave asked, highly amused by this suggestion. "You can barely afford that cupboard you call a flat."

Lily considered this, he was right of course. "Ok…I'll cook you a meal."

"I've tasted your cooking," he said, lip twitching at the memory of Lily's sandwich cake that had tasted an awful lot like sardines.

Lily groaned, "One time, I misread the instructions. I've got better."

Dave still shook his head. "Where are you going anyway?"

"Um…Good question," Lily answered, realising Lee hadn't actually told her where they were going.

Dave looked at her, waiting for her to continue.

"Well see, Lee wants me to help him help his wife, so I need to go wherever she is. Lee's going to give me directions as I go."

Dave looked at her blankly. "Who's Lee?" he asked.

"The spirit," Lily cried, like it was obvious. "And taking Sooty will slow us down. Please will you look after her?"

"And what if something happens?" Dave asked, ever the optimist. "What if you were to get lost, or Lee lied to you, or you crashed and were never seen again. He could even have been sent by…Lily, please. This is stupid. And if something happens I'll get stuck with a cat I don't even like."

Lily looked as though she were going to scream at him. "Fine, don't bother, I'll take him with us but I _am_ going, Dave. And I'm going now." She began to walk away.

Dave, dressed only in a pair of boxer shorts, followed after her. "Lily, wait. I'll look after him but I really don't want you to do this."

"Why not?" Lily asked, though she knew the answer.

"Because you could get hurt, and I don't want that."

"Why not?" Lily asked again, wanting him to give her the real reason, it was about time some things were said.

"Because…Because you're my best friend," Dave said, stuttering his words.

Lily folded her arms crossly.

"Alright," Dave said, seeing the look in her eyes. "Because I'm completely in love with you and if something happened to you I wouldn't know what to do."

Lily gasped, not what she'd been expecting, and something about the sincerity around him made her realise he was telling the truth. She hugged him.

"Dave, I'm sorry. I don't feel the same, but I promise, when I get back, safe and well, I'll give it a try and we can go out somewhere, okay?"

Dave nodded, "Sure but Lily, make sure you do come back safe."

"I promise," Lily swore solemnly heading away, leaving Sooty in his cage beside Dave.

She got into the car and waved as she drove away, Dave watching after her even when the car was out of sight. Eventually he picked up the cage and carried it into the house. "I do hope she'll be okay," he told Sooty before closing the door, knowing that whatever happened on her trip, Lily would never come back from it wanting to fall in love with, or even date, him.

- - - - - - -

She'd been driving now for five hours and the excitement she'd felt at being on the road, heading to somewhere unknown and leaving things behind her, was slowly fading as reality kicked in. What was she doing? Did she honestly believe that some spirit was guiding her to help his wife to move on after his death? How stupid was she? She'd got top of her year at Hogwarts and yet here she was following the word of a dead man who'd appeared one day. For all she knew her mind had made Lee up as an escape from the real world. She could be losing it, about to end up anywhere, and all because she trusted a spirit she didn't even know was real!

"_I'm real," _Lee's voice sounded inside Lily's head, making her jump, she had forgot he could do that now he was in the Orb.

"But how do I know that?" Lily asked him as she switched lanes.

There was a moments silence and then Lee spoke again, _"I guess you don't, you just have to trust me."_

"Trust you?" Lily cried. "How am I meant to trust you? I don't know the first thing about you except that you're dead, and even then, I dreamed your death so it might not have actually happened."

"_It did,"_ Lee assured her. _"I felt the car hit me, my bones break as I flew into the air and then landed. The feeling you get when every part of your body fills with blood is pure agony. It was real."_

Lily was silent. "You could be making it up."

Lee sighed, _"Turn right."_

"Where are we going?"

"_Turn right," _Lee repeated, a slight annoyed tone in his voice. This was going to set them back but it would get her to trust him. He could always get them to set something else up later.

Lily grudgingly obliged; she didn't like being told what to do.

"_Left at the next bend," _Lee said, giving her directions until she pulled into a small town. _"Go to the library," _he told her.

"What are you doing?" she asked as she headed to the library, which wasn't that hard to find.

A large brown brick building in the centre of the town, the library loomed over everything around it. On a dark day Lily imagined it wouldn't be that inviting, it's shadows casting eerily on the ground already, and this was a sunny day.

"_Giving you proof," _Lee answered as Lily stepped through the threshold of the library.

"In a library?" she whispered to him.

"_On the computer,"_ he snapped, talking as though this was obvious, which evidently it wasn't.

"Alright, keep your hair on," Lily muttered, not noticing the odd looks she was getting from a librarian.

"Can I use a computer please?" she asked the librarian who had been giving her odd looks.

"Uh…do you have a library card?" she asked Lily somewhat nervously.

Lily frowned. "No, I'm just visiting but I really need to get to a computer."

"What about in your own town then? Do you have one for there?"

Lily shook her head sadly, she had always intended to get one but with one thing or another she had never really got around to it. Probably just as well since she didn't have time to read anyway but it certainly would have helped now if she had done.

"_You must get on a computer," _Lee urged her.

"I'm trying," Lily told him sternly.

The librarian looked at her, arms folded and eyebrow raised, curiosity lined her face making Lily smile embarrassedly.

"I'm trying to get one," Lily covered. "They haven't got around to processing it for me yet."

"Oh, well I suppose it won't hurt just this once."

Lily smiled at her.

"But I must ask a favour of you," the librarian continued, leading the way for Lily.

"Sure," Lily nodded.

"Don't talk. I noticed you doing so as you came in. It makes the others wary and when you're gone they'll move onto me, wondering why I let you in in the first place."

Lily half smiled, but she looked very apologetic. "Sorry, sometimes I think out loud, I don't even know when I'm doing it sometimes."

The woman nodded understandably, "I'm the same," she mentioned. "But this is a small town, people tend dislike those with weird habits why I remember a few years back…"

"_Shut her up," _Lee's voice spoke in Lily's mind.

"Um…I'm sorry," Lily interrupted her. "But I really need to use the computer."

"Oh, oh, of course," the librarian said, walking hurriedly to log Lily onto a computer. "There we go."

"Thanks," Lily said, sitting in the chair.

She waited until the librarian had gone before speaking again. "Now what?" she asked Lee.

"_Type in; 'Lee Morris' and 'car accidents'."_

Lily did as she was told, 236,000 results came up and a small groan came from Lily's lips.

"Is there any way to cut this down?" she asked him.

_"You could try 'The Voice' too." _

Lily did so, the results were cut dramatically. "That's better," she said, selecting the third result.

It was an on-line article written in _The Voice_; Lily noticed it was in the obituaries

**This week we say goodbye to a dear friend, husband and colleague. Lee Morris, trainee-lawyer, was mowed just metres from his home in a horrific hit and run accident. Morris, whose wife and neighbours witnessed the accident, was 25 years old when the incident occurred.  
****The car to blame has been found but the driver cannot be found. He is described as being 6'2", with light brown hair and green eyes; he was wearing black jeans and a navy blue t-shirt. The police are urging people to get in touch if they see the suspect. "Obviously a crime like this affects us all," Detective Falmer says. "But the criminal must be found, and we can only do that with your help."  
The incident occurred on 27th February 1984.**

Lily looked at the picture beside it, long blonde hair and clear blue eyes. That was Lee all right.

"Okay," Lily said, closing the web page down. "So I believe you. That doesn't mean I trust you, you won't even tell me where I'm going."

"_That isn't important," _Lee's voice spoke to her.

"The hell it isn't!" Lily cried. "It's my money we're spending on petrol, my time you're taking up, my job I'm losing money from by not working."

Other people in the computer room were staring at her, and though she didn't really care at that moment, she could hardly blame them. Here she was, seemingly shouting at herself, in a public place, how could they not find that weird?

"Um…I think you better leave," the librarian was back and talking to Lily who didn't hear her, too busy listening to Lee.

"_You will be more than compensated." _He informed her.

"How? By the warm fuzzy feeling I'll get for helping you?"

"_You will see."_

"But I don't want to. God, I can't believe I'm saying this but I want to be back home, I want to be working, I want…"

"_Quiet!" _Lee roared inside Lily's head, making her clutch it in pain. _"I do not care what you want, you agreed to help me, now you have to. But first you need to leave her, the librarian has already told you to."_

Lily blinked back into the reality outside her head. All the computers lay forgotten as every person in the room stared open-mouthed and afraid of her. The librarian stood directly in front of her.

"Are you alright dear?"

Lily shook her head. "I'm sorry," she said to her. "I'm really sorry."

The librarian smiled. "No harm done, you only shattered a bit of silence and it was too quiet in here anyway. But really, you must get going, you still have far to go."

Lily frowned and looked at the librarian. "How do you…How could you possibly know that?"

The woman smiled secretly, leading Lily away from the computer room. "I know lot's of things," she informed Lily. "And I know that whatever's about to come will be a big challenge for you."

Lily didn't even notice getting there but soon she was stood at the entrance of the library.

"Good luck," the librarian said before closing the door to the library leaving Lily to stand out in the chilling shadows on her own.

"_We must get moving, we are late," _Lee told Lily.

Lily groaned but stormed to her car anyway. "I'm doing this and I'm going," she informed him before continuing quickly. "And I'm not doing it voluntarily, I'm doing it because I'm the only one who can."

"_Fine," _Lee said simply. _"Go out of town and then head east."_

Lily thought for a moment, "Don't we want to go west? We just came in east."

_"I said east, now drive."_

"Alright, fine," she snapped at him, fed up with this already and she'd only been at it half a day.

She drove, following his instructions until they reached a long, thin country road surrounded by lots and lots of trees. It was night by now and Lily didn't like driving in the dark at the best of times but especially not in somewhere like this.

"We need to stop," she said.

"_No," _Lee said. _"We need to keep moving."_

"But I don't like this, it feels like something's going to happen. Something bad."

Lee was silent.

"What is it?" she asked. "What's going to happen?"

Lee forced nervous laughter. _"Nothing."_

"Don't lie to me. I can handle silence, I can handle shouting, I can even handle misinformation and not being told where I'm going but please, don't lie to me."

"_I'm not,"_ Lee said.

Lily growled quietly. He was lying again. She grabbed his Orb off the dashboard and wound the window down, holding the Orb out of it.

"Tell me or I drop you, the Orb smashes and you'll have to find some other poor fool to do your work."

"_Alright, alright, just let me back in."_

Lily brought her arm in slowly. "Spill," she said the minute he was back in the car.

"_I don't need to," _Lee answered almost smugly. _"You're about to find out."_

"What?" Lily asked him, confusion lacing her voice.

"_Look forward,"_ Lee told her.

Lily did as she was told and screamed, slamming down on the breaks too hard. In front of her, stood scared in the middle of the lane, was a four-legged animal. To Lily it looked like a deer but bigger, and with antlers. What was it doing here? This wasn't a place they lived. She hoped it would move, prayed even, but it seemed paralysed and then, it was hit. Its body flew into the air and landed behind her car, which slowly pulled to a stop. Her scream filled the car and, as she opened the door, the lane. She ran to see how badly she had hurt it, expecting it to be dead with the pain she'd just caused it and gasped in shock. That was no antlered deer she'd knocked over, it was a man.


	6. Travelodge

"You're behind schedule."

Inside his Orb, Lee heard the cold voice speak to him, sending chills through him. What was with that? He was a spirit, as in not solid, he shouldn't be getting chills but still this voice caused them.

"Well that's not my fault," Lee remarked. "You're the one who made sure she ran him over, now she won't go anywhere until she's sure he's okay."

"He's fine," the voice told him harshly. "Get her back on the road now."

Lee gave a sigh. "Lily, we need to keep moving."

"_Not yet," _her voice answered him from outside the Orb. _"Not until he's better."_

"Take him to a hospital then, let him get checked out and then we need to move."

"_I can't do that!" _She sounded scared, almost horrified.

"Why not?"

"_Because it's my fault he got ran over and this time I'm going to do what I can to help him live."_

"So take him to a hospital," Lee said. "They'll do everything they can, which is more than you."

"_Not yet."_

Lee could sense the fear in her voice at his suggestions. 'Why is she so afraid?' he wondered.

"She's not budging," Lee told the man's disembodied voice.

"I want her on that road in two hours, with or without the boy. He's important, but he's not vital."

"Alright," Lee said wearily, not sure he could manage it, his doubt sounding in his tone.

"I mean it, it's bad enough we had to wait this long, if we wait much longer the opportunity will pass."

"I'm trying," Lee said. "But maybe if you hadn't made her run him over we wouldn't be in this mess."

"Don't blame it on me," the voice commanded sharply. "You're the one who let her take the day trip to the library, which you owe us big for. Planting that article wasn't easy. It's because of that we missed the first opportunity, we can't mess this one up too."

"Alright," Lee said with another sigh, fed up with the voice's rants. "Let me do it then. Two hours?"

Lee sensed the figure attached the voice nodding as he spoke, "With or without the boy."

Lee echoed his words quietly, more chills spreading through him.

- - - - - - - -

The rest of that night was a bit of a blur for Lily. She remembered getting out of the car and realising with horror that she had knocked over a man, a real human. She remembered thinking she should check if he was breathing, if he was all right, but she didn't remember actually checking. Nor did she remember putting the man into her car or driving it to a nearby Travelodge but she supposed she must have done otherwise they wouldn't both be in a room at that minute would they?

It was four thirty in the morning and Lily, who had been sat on the bed with her face buried in her hands, suddenly realised that she needed to stop pitying herself and actually help the man she'd just nearly killed, if she hadn't actually killed him, which she suspected she might. She turned around and saw him lying on the bed. He was so still; it didn't even look like he was breathing.

'Oh no…' Was her panicked thought when she realised this and rushed to his side.

She put her ear down on his chest, trying to hear a heartbeat. She strained to hear, just a tiny noise, anything, just some sign it was still beating…There! Was it? She concentrated on a small patch on the left-hand side of the man's chest. Yes. Definitely. A relieved look crossed her face but quickly faded. It was only faint; she needed to do something, but what?

"_Lily, we need to keep moving." _Lee's voice sounded in her head.

"Not yet," she told him, refusing to until she knew the man would be safe. "Not until he's better."

"_Take him to a hospital then, let him get checked out and then we need to move."_

His suggestion hit her and she froze for a moment. "I can't do that!"

"_Why not?" _Lee's persistent voice questioned.

"Because it's my fault he got ran over and this time I'm going to do what I can to help him live."

"_So take him to a hospital,"_ Lee told her. _"They'll do everything they can, which is more than you."_

Of course Lily knew she should, the thought had occurred to her maybe fifty times already, but something was holding her back. Fear, she knew. What if they couldn't do anything? She would already be arrested for running him over in the first place, if they couldn't do anything to help the man then she'd be looking at a death charge too, maybe even manslaughter. She couldn't handle that. No, she had to try and save him herself first, and then he'd be so grateful that he wouldn't press charges and Lily would be all right. That was the plan anyway; of course, it never worked out like that, did it? But Lily tried to stay optimistic. And if something **did** go wrong, which Lily prayed it didn't…Well she'd have to deal with that if, and when, it happened.

"Not yet," Lily told Lee boldly. There was no response so she assumed he had given up and was letting her do this.

She studied the man lying before of her, if you could call him that, he didn't look much older than Lily, he was twenty-one at the most. He had a considerable amount of messy black hair, not that Lily was surprised by its state, he had gone flying into the air, landed with great force, been dragged to her car, driven wildly around and then dragged into this room, she'd have been more surprised if his hair **hadn't** been a mess. He was tall, well taller than Lily, who was just above average height for her gender and age. Maybe ¾ of a head taller. He was thin too, but in an athletic sort of way, not a lanky one. She couldn't see his eyes but she could see a small pool of dried blood beneath one of them. He looked oddly familiar but Lily couldn't quite place him. What she noticed was that there was lots of dried blood on him, more than she realised.

She quickly hurried into the bathroom, returning with the toothbrush holder/cup full of water and clean towels. Lots of them. She dipped a corner into water and began gently wiping the blood from the man's face. She did this across all his uncovered flesh, carefully cleaning his cuts and then magically sealing them so that he didn't lose much more blood. This done, she debated what to do about his covered flesh. Should she clean them and stop their bleeding? Or leave him to bleed so that if he did wake up he didn't think she was up to anything. In the end she decided on a combination. She would clean his top half and hope he woke up soon to do his bottom half. She undid his shirt, ignoring the amount of blood on it. She hoped it was just spread and he hadn't actually bled that much. As she took off his shirt she knew that was too much to ask.

Across his stomach was a large gash with what was a surprisingly small piece of glass for the length and depth of the cut, embedded inside. It must have hit a vein or something because it was bleeding profusely. Lily held back her desire to run out of the room there and then. She'd done this; she would fix it, that's what she told herself.

She got a brand new towel, about to dip it in the cup when she realised it wasn't enough. She went back into the bathroom, put he plug in the sink, ran some water and soaked the towel in it. Dripping wet, she took the towel back to the man and began tending to his wounds once more. She winced dramatically whenever she got close to the offending piece of glass. What was she meant to do with that?

"Lee, I need your help."

"_Don't ask me," _Lee said as unhelpfully as he possibly could have been. _"I don't know anything about that."_

Lily let out a hysterical groan before taking a deep breath. She didn't know what to do, all she could do was guess and hope for the best. With the towel ready to apply pressure, Lily slowly winched the glass out, trying not to break, fracture or splinter the glass in anyway. Less than a moment after it was out Lily was applying pressure once more. The pristine white towel soon began turning red from blood.

'Oh God…Please don't die.' She thought frantically, fear spreading through her as she realised the blood wasn't stopping.

She had to do something. She couldn't sit by and watch someone die again but the spell she'd used to heal the other wounds was a simple spell and was only supposed to be used for small cuts. This wasn't a small cut. She was too unpractised with magic to attempt anything bigger. She was lucky the night before with the Orb, but that was all it was. Luck. Now she needed something more, she needed knowledge, she needed confidence but mostly, she needed someone to do this for her.

The towel was now completely soaked in blood. Her fear at the realization that if she didn't do something he definitely would die gave her an odd sense of confidence. She removed the towel and gripped her wand tightly as a word came to her.

"S…s…san…sanose." She said quietly, her nerves getting the better of her as a small wisp of smoke emitted from the end of her wand.

She let out a small whimper.

'What are you so upset about?' she thought to herself harshly. 'You're not the one dying from blood loss.'

It's funny how cruel words can give you the strength to do something that you wouldn't normally, as though you want to prove them wrong. What's funnier is how when those words come from yourself you try that little bit harder to prove them wrong. This is what happened to Lily at that exact moment. There's no peer has a greater effect than that of yourself. Taking a deep breath she spoke clearly, loudly and carefully.

"Sanose."

A wispy stream of a silvery light blue came out her wand, wrapping itself around the man's stomach, going inside the wound, shimmering as it healed the cut. Lily watched in awe, she'd never done that before and though it looked like it worked, she couldn't be sure until the man made some kind of movement. After ten minutes he still hadn't moved. Lily gave a weary sigh before tears began streaming down her face.

"_There's nothing more you can do," _Lee told her gently and suddenly making her jump.

"There has to be," she whispered hoarsely.

There was a pause before Lee spoke again. _"You need to rest," _he told her soothingly. _"Go take a shower, I'll let you know if there's any change."_

"There won't be," Lily wailed. "He'll die and I'll be arrested for his death. I'm so stupid! I should have taken him to the hospital. Anyone with a half a brain would have done. This is all my fault!"

"_Don't think like that," _Lee said patiently, speaking soothingly to her. _"You weren't to know. I should have given you warning instead of keeping you talking and unfocussed but what's done is done. What matters now is that you've tried to help him. It'll all work out good in the end."_

Lily couldn't see how, all that was in her head was that she'd killed this man. She was a killer now, pure and simple, but something in his words soothed her slightly.

"Promise?"

"_I promise, now shower."_

Lily did as she was told, her body racked with sobs as she turned on the hot water and undressed, not noticing until that moment that she was covered in blood. She spent a long time in the shower, thankful it wasn't her flat where she had to be careful about the amount of water she used. Ten minutes and then out, ready or not, or the water would freeze you. But here she and didn't have to, so she showered washed and then sat on the base of the shower, not really feeling the water as it ran down her back and face, washing away the tears. Forty minutes later, with no tears left, she got out, wrapped a towel around her body, not bothering with her hair, and went back into the room.

"Any change?" she asked Lee but looked at the man as he lay.

"_No," _Lee answered sadly. _"Do you feel better?"_

"Not really," Lily answered truthfully. "But…" She debated whether to say more.

"_Go on," _Lee urged her.

"But…" Again Lily trailed off, this time for a different reason.

Her eyes, which had been trained intently on the man lying on the only bed in the room, watched as the man's hand twitched. She was immediately by his side.

"Hello? Can you hear me?" she asked gently but loudly.

His hand twitched a little more and he made a small groan.

"My name's Lily," she said, louder this time, excitement and relief spreading through her.

His eyes began fluttering, slowly at first, then a little more until they were eventually open. He had deep blue eyes, scared and confused at this minute.

- - - - - - - -

James didn't remember much when he started to feel consciousness returning to him. Well actually, that's not true, he remembered a lot, especially about the events following that night, but he didn't really remember what had happened to make him be lying here, on such a comfortable bed, while his whole body was in agony. Realising how much pain he was in, he wondered how he hadn't woken sooner from it. He moved his hand a little bit, seeing if he could. Then he heard a voice.

"Hello? Can you hear me?" It was such a sweet voice; he wanted to see who it belonged to.

He moved his hand again and opened his mouth to speak. All that came out was a small groan.

"My name's Lily," she sounded eager for him to respond, as though she had been waiting for a long time.

He tried to open his eyes. They were heavy. He struggled to open them. He felt weak. As his eyes fluttered slowly he could see shapes and colours, a white square, a yellow triangle, a red curve. As he tried to open them a bit more, his eyes stayed open longer. He could now make out what these shapes and colours were. The white was from a tiled ceiling about him; the yellow part of the decoration on the wallpaper opposite and the red was a wild curl, one of many that fell raggedly around a tear-stained, puffy-eyed young woman. His eyes were open fully now.

He opened his mouth to speak again, his throat croaked at the effort. The woman vanished from his sight before she returned a minute later with a glass in her hand.

"Drink this," she told him, helping him to sit up and placing the glass at his lips.

He parted them, allowing the cold liquid to fill his mouth and trickle down his throat. Its effect was almost instant.

"Thank you," he said, his voice still hoarse but at least you could make out words now.

She shook her head dutifully. "I should be thanking you."

"Why?" he asked, his frown turned into a wince as he tried to look confused.

"For waking up."

He was going to say something but stopped when she carried on.

"I was beginning to think you never would. That you would die. I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to do it, it was an accident."

"What was?"

She looked at him in shock. "You don't remember? Oh great, I've probably caused you brain damage on top of everything else. Given you amnesia or something. Figures, I was beginning to think my day couldn't get any worse."

"What?" He didn't understand a word this woman was saying. He was beginning to think maybe she was a little disturbed mentally.

"I ran you over!" She cried, quickly pulling him away from any ideas he was having about her mental state.

"What?" he repeated. This time he sounded less confused but more shocked.

"I ran you over. I didn't mean to, I just wasn't paying attention and then there was something in the road…I swear it looked like a deer…But before I could stop I'd hit it and when I got out to see if it was okay, it wasn't a deer, it was a man. You."

Sudden thoughts hit James, memories of what had happened. She **had** hit a deer, a stag at least, it just happened to be him, too.

"So I'm in hospital?" It didn't look like any hospital he knew, especially with the woman undressed with only a towel to cover herself, but it might be.

"No," she admitted, sounding shamed.

"Where am I then?"

"Uh…A Travelodge in Cardiff."

"Huh?"


	7. So Many Secrets

**A/N: **"Bats are round!" – Sorry, Luke told me to write it. Two-month break and I'm back, enjoy! Thanks to those who reviewed, I will be changing the thing about James' eyes in Ch6 in the next couple of days. Thanks!

* * *

"So, do you make a habit of these doing these things?" James asked the woman before him. 

She was now dressed in a clean pair of jeans and a fitted t-shirt, perched at the end of the bed on which he was still lying. She had refused to let him move but had offered him more water to drink. It helped a lot.

She laughed nervously. "No, actually this is the first time I've done _anything_ like this."

"Like what? Running guys over and then kidnapping them, taking them to a random hotel in the middle of nowhere and then doing Merlin only knows what?" He looked down at his bare upper torso as he said this, looking at her with a raised eyebrow.

She looked around the room guiltily. "I was just checking you were okay."

"Oh," James sounded a little disappointed and the room descended into an uncomfortable silence.

"Did you just say 'Merlin' back there?" Lily interrupted the silence with a hint of disbelief.

"Uh…yeah…" James began, his brain working overtime to try and come up with an excuse as to why he would. Merlin wasn't a word often said in this world. It was a shame his usually sharp mind was failing him after his accident. "I like to be different."

"Oh," Lily said. "Because I thought for a minute there you…No, that's stupid. Never mind."

"No, what?" James urged her.

"No, I can't."

"_He is," _Lee's voice entered Lily's head.

"He is?" She said excited.

James stared at her oddly. "Who?"

"What?" Lily jerked her head up to look at him confused.

"You just said 'he is'. Who? And What?"

"Oh, uh, you. You're a wizard, aren't you?"

"No, are you sure you haven't been knocked on the head? Wizards don't exist."

"It's alright, you don't have to pretend," Lily said gently. "I'm a witch, too. Graduated from Hogwarts in '81."

"You're kidding?"

"No, why?"

"I graduated then, too!"

"Really?" Lily studied him. He had only been awake half-an-hour but he already looked a whole lot better. His pallid face had returned to a healthy glow, his dark hair, which he had run a hand through several times, looked windswept and his hazel eyes shone mischievously. He looked more familiar than ever before but she still couldn't put a name to his face.

"Yeah, I was a Gryffindor, Quidditch Captain and Head Boy. The name's…"

"James Potter," she gasped, getting up off the bed and slowly backing away from him.

"Yeah," James frowned at the fear on her face. "I take it you heard?"

She nodded. "I should have left you on the road," she spat at him.

"I didn't –"

"You could have got away then. Someone would have helped you. They'd have taken you to hospital, they'd have had you patched up in no time and you could have carried on. As it is you've been patched up with my shoddy magic and you're not going to be able to go anywhere on your own for a while because of it!"

"Excuse me?"

Lily trailed off her ramblings and looked at James confused. "Oh, right. I don't believe you attacked that woman. You were a lot of things at Hogwarts James, I know I told you often enough, but you would never do that."

"You're the only one who thinks so." James commented bitterly. "The Ministry's after me, my parents disowned me, my friends tried to turn me in. You're the only person besides Sirius who believed me without a doubt."

"Black? You're still friends?"

"Forever," James answered. "So tell me something."

"What?"

"Why do you believe me? Why aren't you running away or contacting the Ministry as we sit?"

"If I was anyone else, especially those who knew you, I might be but I'm not like that. See, I get a sense about people and, though I've known the you that you show to everyone else, I've seen you at your best too. No one who can comfort a clearly distraught first year when she's being bullied because she's small, overweight, wears glasses and is the biggest geek in her class, could do what you've been accused of."

"How do you know I did that?" James asked, genuinely surprised.

Lily just looked at him for a moment before getting up and heading towards the door of their room.

"Wait, that was you?" James asked after her.

Lily shrugged again but when she looked at James there were slight tears in her eyes. "I saw you do the same our final year, too. Head girl gets those privileges, you know."

"But head girl was…Evans?" James asked in shock. "_You're_ Lily Evans? Wow!"

"Is it that hard to believe?" Lily rounded on him viciously.

"No, I'm just…I'm surprised, ok? When we left you looked so different."

"Yeah, well a lot's changed since then," she growled before storming out of the room.

"_Are you alright?" _Lee asked her once the door was shut.

"Oh, never better," she muttered sarcastically. "Turns out I've ran over a wanted criminal from a world I've been trying to avoid who just happens to have attended my school where he remembers I was the unpopular, fat girl with a grand total of three and a half friends."

"_Three and a half?" _Lee asked in confusion.

"Dave, Julie and Alice and I suppose my cat Sooty counts."

"Wow, that's pathetic."

"Thanks," Lily said sarcastically, took a calming breath and then spoke again. "Is there a reason you're contacting me right now?"

"Yes, you have less than an hour before we need to go so I suggest you get ready and make sure James is okay to travel."

"With us?"

"_Yeah,"_ Lee said as though this were obvious.

"What's he coming with us for?"

"Well, he's not well enough to be left to his own devices and I'm sure you don't want to see him left suffering with no one to look after him, do you?"

Lily didn't answer him, she just huffed and went back into the room she'd exited less than five minutes before.

"Look, Lily, I'm sorry," James began when he saw her.

She shook him off. "Doesn't matter. I was being stupid. I got past the weight problem and there was a lot of it, I know I look different. I'd have been more annoyed if you hadn't noticed, I think." She smiled at him as she knelt down to check the contents of her bag. She stood up and looked him over. "We're leaving soon."

"We?" James looked bemused.

"Yeah, you and me, there's no one else here, is there?"

"What makes you think I'd go with you?" He wasn't asking horribly, he was just genuinely surprised.

Lily recited Lee's reasons to James without actually telling him they were Lee's reasons.

"You think I need a babysitter?"

"No, but I'd feel worse than I do now if I left you alone. Let me look after you and get this done at the same time."

"Sure," he said. He needed to get away fast to avoid the Ministry finding him and at least if he was travelling with Lily he'd constantly be on the move. "What do you need to do?"

Lily stopped her searching of the room and looked at him. "Oh…um…I just have to give someone a message but I need to do it face-to-face."

"Oh, ok. Sounds good to me."

"Ok," Lily threw one last thing in her bag and then looked at James again. "You're…uh…you're going to need to get changed. A shower might not be a bad idea, either."

James nodded. "Could you help me up?"

"Of course," Lily ran to his side and lifted one of his arms to drape over her shoulders. She lifted him to his feet and supported him to the bathroom. "Are you ok with everything else or do you still need help?"

James could see the embarrassment on her face. "I'll be okay but I, uh, my clothes…I don't have any left."

"I can sort that out," she nodded as she propped him against a unit in the bathroom. She ran the water and sorted some towels. "I'll leave you to it, just shout if you need help."

James agreed and Lily left, leaving the bathroom door open a crack in case he did shout, which he didn't. While she waited for him to get out she performed a cleaning and repairing charm on the clothes he had worn when the accident occurred. They weren't as good as if they had been properly mended and washed or even if she had bought new for him but they were better than nothing, and she was quite pleased by how well she had done. Her magic seemed to be coming back to her fast, though it was incredibly rusty. There were still slight traces of bloodstains on his shirt; he would have to clean them himself.

Ten minutes later his hand appeared through the space of the door. "Can I have my clothes?"

"Course, is everything all right? You haven't knocked the scars and started them bleeding have you? They weren't done very well, I know."

"No, they're great," James said, taking the clothes from her.

"I'm sorry, I can't get all the blood out. I haven't used magic for a while…"

"It's alright, they're better than they were. Thanks."

Within twenty minutes they were back on the road, both inside the car this time. Just before they left, Lily had visited the shop next door to buy anything that was simple to eat and didn't need preparing. Mostly chocolate and ready-packed jellies and the like for James. She bought a few packets of crisps and pre-packed sandwiches for herself, too.

"How are you feeling?" She questioned him, her eyes trained crucially on the empty road before them.

"Better, thanks. And the jelly, nice touch," he laughed.

Her mouth didn't even twitch as she continued to concentrate on the road.

"So, what you said before, about not using magic for a while…"

Lily's hands tensed on the wheel. "I don't really think we're that friendly yet, do you?"

James looked out of the window at the long fields they were passing. "No, I suppose not."

"_You only ran him over and saved his life," _Lee sounded derisively in her head.

"Shut up," she whispered, but James heard and did as was said.


	8. Investigations

James had fallen asleep again. His injuries might have healed but he was still in pain and he had still banged his head pretty badly during the accident. A combination of pain and concussion made him drift in and out of consciousness as Lily drove to her destination. He was woken by the sound of Lily's angry voice.

"No! Just tell me where we're going…well maybe if you told me I wouldn't get us lost…you're the one giving me directions, if you told me I might know the way…" She let out a low growling sound. "Fine!"

"Who are you talking to?" James asked sleepily.

"Talking? No one. I haven't been talking." Lily sounded slightly panicked, James frowned.

"I just heard you."

"No, you didn't," Lily said certainly. "Go back to sleep, I think you're imagining things from the concussion."

James nodded and wriggled in his chair to get comfy again. Before he closed his eyes they wandered to the dashboard where they saw a glass ball, for a moment he was sure he saw a face in it but he was asleep before he could go to check again.

- - - -

"I still don't get what we're doing here," Remus complained as he, Sirius and Peter made their way up the path to the house before them.

"I told you already. We get in there, we get information, we clear James' name, and he can come home." Sirius answered in an annoyed tone. He'd had to explain this so many times already, granted every other time had been to Peter, who finally seemed to have got it, but that really wasn't the point.

Sirius knocked on the door persistently.

"Yes?" Asked the woman who answered. She was tall and thin, her greying hair fastened in a bun tightly at the back of her head. She had small beady eyes that looked out at them critically. "What do you want?"

"We want to speak to Heather." Peter was the one who spoke and he spoke boldly, surprisingly.

"My daughter isn't well enough for company."

"She was well enough to have interviews with the _Prophet_," Remus pointed out.

"That was necessary, talking to you is not." She began to close the door; Sirius put his foot in, blocking it from closing.

"Please, it will only take a minute."

"No."

"Mum, it's ok, let them in," a voice shouted from the darkness within the house.

"But Heather –"

"It's okay," it answered again.

The old woman sighed heavily and opened the door, allowing entry for the three men stood outside.

"She's just through there," she pointed to a slightly open door to their right. "You have ten minutes."

"Thank you ma'am," Sirius said, marching to the door.

The room they came out in was dark; it's walls a deep crimson and the curtains closed. A lit fire was set along one wall. Heather was sat on a comfy chair wearing a too-big jumper and sweat pants despite the sweltering heat of the room. Her face was littered with cuts and scratches. The three men shared a look before squashing onto the two-seater couch.

"What do you want?" Heather asked, not coldly but hardly warmly either.

"We want to talk to you about –" Sirius began.

"The night of your attack," Remus finished, shooting Sirius a look to be quiet. "What do you remember?"

"I don't understand, are you reporters, too?"

"No," Peter answered.

At the same time both Remus and Sirius answered, "Yes."

Heather looked at them confused. "We are, he's not, he's just tagging along."

"Oh, ok."

So Heather told them what she remembered. She and James had gone to a hotel where he claimed to be staying but he wanted more than just a conversation. When she tried, that's when he turned on her and attacked. Next thing she knew she was waking up in St. Mungo's.

Remus frowned, Sirius paled, Peter nodded. "Alright, thank you."

Sirius whipped his head to look at Remus, who was the one who had spoken, questioning him with his eyes. Remus shook his head in response and stood up, motioning for the others to do the same. "Thank you for your time, you've been very patient."

"Oh," she stood up and walked with them to the door of the room. "You can see yourselves out, can't you?"

"Of course. Goodbye, and I hope you're better soon."

"Thank you, goodbye," she said, closing the door behind them.

Heather's mother saw them to the door, her beady eyes watching them closely. Remus lagged behind. The old woman opened the door and Sirius and Peter stepped through.

"Oh, I forgot my jacket," Remus said suddenly and turned back before the woman could stop him.

He opened the door of the room he had just come out of and stepped through in one sudden fluid movement. The sight before him was a complete contrast to the one a minute before. The dark red room was now a pale yellow, the curtains open to make the room bright and cheerful. The fire was not only out but the fireplace had vanished. The biggest transformation, however, was that of Heather. Her face was as clear as it had been the night of the "incident"; there were no cuts, scratches bruises or blemishes of any kind, not even a pimple. Her jumper had been removed to reveal a vest top and her long, too-big jeans was a skirt. There was no sign she had been through any trauma in the last five minutes let alone a horrific ordeal a few weeks ago. Remus smirked at her but said nothing; he just took his jacket and left the house.

"Thanks again for your patience," he told Heather's mother before she slammed the door on him.

The bright smile that lit Remus' face was somewhat out of place for the depressed air that hung around his two friends.

"Cheer up guys!" He cried at them, throwing an arm around each of their shoulders. "Don't you see? We got her! James can come home."

"What are you talking about? You just heard what she said."

"And she was lying," Remus pointed out. "And I have just the thing to prove it."

- - - -

"…I'm just asking you to bring her in, ask her about this!" Remus waved a small piece of card at the Ministry official across from him.

"And what is that, Mister Lupin?" The official sneered at him with distaste. "All I can see is a swirl of colour."

"That's the point!" Remus cried. "Look at the colour, look closely. Does that look like a 'serious condition' girl to you?" He slammed the picture onto the table and shoved it under the officials nose.

"This could have been done at any time, it could even be faked for all I know."

Remus let out an exasperated groan. "That's why you need to get your specialists to take a look at it."

"Don't tell me how to command my staff, Lupin!"

"I'm not," Remus shot back defensively. He took a calming breath. "Please, just have them take a look, they'll see it's not fake."

"Why are you pushing this? You're the only one who thinks he's innocent."

"Because I know James and he's a lot of things but he's not what you're accusing him of."

"That's not what his character references are saying."

Remus' jaw tensed, his fists balled and unballed into tight fists. A slow growl formed in his throat. "Just look at the damn card! If I haven't heard from you in twenty-four hours I'll be taking this up with the Minister, himself."

"Oh, yeah?" The official sneered. "And how do you hope to even get an audience with the Minister?"

"Oh, we go way back," Remus answered cryptically before leaving the room, shooting the official one last warning glance before he did.

- - - -

"_We're nearly there," _Lee told Lily. _"Just a few more miles. We can be there within fifteen minutes."_

"Really?" Lily asked aloud, these conversations seeming so normal now that it didn't occur to her she looked to be having a one-sided conversation with herself. Still, she was grateful James was asleep. "Well since we've made good time we're going to stop off for some lunch somewhere."

"_No," _Lee answered. _"You must continue."_

If this had been a normal conversation, Lily would have glared at Lee but as it was there was no body that came with the voice so she had to suffice with imagining it instead.

"You've been bothering me for over six weeks, you made me drop everything so that I could deal your problems, you made me run over, and look after, a wanted criminal and I've pandered to your every need. Now I am tired, I am hungry, I'm stressed and I'm annoyed and I _will_ be stopping to get some lunch. Do you have a problem with that?"

No answer came from Lee for a long time and when it did it was a very quiet, "No."

Lily gave a self-satisfied smile as she continued drive, turning at a sign for the town of Thurso.

"Thurso?" Lily muttered aloud. "Where the hell is Thurso?"

James stirred and his eyes fluttered open slowly. "I think it's in Scotland. Are we in Scotland?"

"Hey," Lily smiled at the sleepy man. "You feeling better?"

James stretched as best he could in the confines of the small car. "I've felt better but I'll live," he returned her smile. "Are we in Scotland?" He asked again.

"I'd guess so. I'm not actually sure. You hungry? We both need to stretch our legs and I could do with a long break. You're welcome to stay here if you'd prefer…"

James yawned, "A walk sounds good."

Lily nodded but said nothing as she pulled into a half-used car park. "Any preference on food?"

James shook his head as he began to open the car door. "I can't handle much more than soup at the minute so I don't mind."

"Alright," Lily got up, closed her door and scanned the part of the town she saw. She pointed. "Over there."

James looked over. "Sounds good to me."

They walked over to the local pub with a view of coast from the outside benches. James ordered soup, Lily a sandwich. They ate and talked about everything but the things they were keeping from each other, everything but the things that were creating a barrier between the two of them. It was a fun hour or so. They went for a walk around the town after they ate, returning to the car to travel for another fifteen minutes.

"_We're here,"_ Lee announced.

Lily frowned. "Please tell me you're kidding," she muttered.

"What?" James asked with a frown.

"Nothing. What do you see?"

James looked out of the window. "Grass. Lots of grass. And hills. Grass, hills and a few flowers."

Lily nodded. "We're in the middle of nowhere!" She shouted several decibels louder than should be allowed in such a cramped space.


	9. Questions Answered

The door slammed as Lily got out and scanned the area around her. For what seemed like miles, there was endless countryside. "This isn't funny, Lee!" She shouted.

James watched the woman in silence through the safety of the windshield. She looked to be talking, well, shouting, he could hear what she saying, but there was no one around.

"Figures I'd get stuck with a crazy lady," James muttered getting out of the car, too.

"Where the hell are we? This isn't the right place."

"I thought –" James began but never finished as Lily cut him off, apparently talking to herself.

"How can this be the right place? There were houses, and cars, and streets and children playing. This isn't right."

"What are you –" Again James was cut off.

"No, I've had enough!" She stormed back to the car, bumping past James but not actually registering it as she did. She opened the door of the driver's side and grabbed something off the dashboard. "Tell me what's going on!"

"I don't…" James trailed off as he realised what she was holding. Suddenly he knew she wasn't talking to him because, though he didn't know the actual details, he knew what was happening. "Don't!" He warned her.

Whether it was the volume or the urgency in his voice that got her attention, James wasn't sure but Lily turned to look at him.

- - - -

"Where the hell are we? This isn't the right place." Lily sounded a mixture of things, tired, frustrated, scared but mostly she just sounded angry.

"_Yes, it is." _Lee countered her complaint.

"How can this be the right place? There were houses, and cars, and streets and children playing. This isn't right."

"Lily, trust me –" 

"No, I've had enough!" Lily cried, storming to the car to get the Defero Orb. "Tell me what's going on!"

There came no response from Lee, which angered Lily more. She held her arm out, getting ready to let the Orb go.

"Don't!" She heard James cry urgently, she turned to face him angrily.

- - - -

"_Where the hell are we? This isn't the right place." _Lily's rather annoyed voice came through his glass walls and he was, for once, glad it protected him from any physical attack because the words were scathing enough.

"Yes, it is." Lee replied calmly, trying to placate the irate woman he was connected to.

"How can this be the right place? There were houses, and cars, and streets and children playing. This isn't right."

"Make her be quiet," the same cold voice from before demanded. "She's going to get the boy involved in soon. They can't know what's happening."

Lee scowled at the voice but spoke to Lily. "Lily, trust me –"

She cut him off. _"No, I've had enough!" _He didn't realise she was moving until her clamped around his glass cage. _"Tell me what's going on!"_

"Do something!" The voice hissed to Lee.

Between the cries of his superior and trying to think of a way to calm Lily down he couldn't speak. That's when he felt the Orb shake.

"She's going to drop it! She can't or this whole thing will be ruined. Do something!"

Lee tried to think of something to say, something to do but his mind went blank at the thought of what was about to happen. Then he heard another voice, a voice that shouldn't have been able to get through the glass.

"_Don't!" _He looked through the glass to see it was James who had spoken and, though he was grateful of the attempt at soothing the redhead, he didn't think it would have much effect. That is until Lily spoke.

- - - -

"What?" Lily frowned at James. Her main thought was that he didn't know what was going on, why should she listen to him?

"That's a Defero Orb, right? And you were about to drop it? You can't."

"What would you know?" She spat at him viciously. So much had happened over the past couple of days and she had only just re-met this man before her, why should she listen to him?

"I know that if that smashes you're going to wish you'd never even heard of magic."

Lily looked at him sceptically.

"You don't believe me?" James guessed rightly. "Okay then, you remember when you first cast the spell, what happened?"

Lily only had to think of putting the Orb on the floor that night and the whole scene came back to her. "There was a mist…it was horrible, suffocating…"

"That's it?" James asked, he sounded surprised.

Lily immediately went on the offensive. "Yeah, why wouldn't it be?"

"Defero Orb's are dangerous for the most experienced magic users, seven out of ten end up dead. You said yourself you haven't used magic in a while…All you got was mist?"

"Yes." Lily said with a hint of finality in her voice.

James would have left it there but Lily carried on despite her tone.

"What would happen? If I dropped it, I mean."

James studied her closely then shrugged. "Maybe nothing, I mean, if mist _is _all you got then that's probably all that would happen again but often three of those seven die because the glass smashes."

"But the chances of just mist…" Lily trailed off, shivering at just the thought of the mist.

"Yeah," James agreed solemnly.

Lily let out a sigh and, after one last look at it, pocketed the Orb. "I just don't understand."

"Understand what?" James asked her but she shook her head. "Lily, come on, enough is enough. Tell me what's going on."

"It's none of your busi –"

"I think we've passed the point where that matters," James interrupted her calmly but sternly. "You ran me over, you've seen things most women don't usually get to see until a third date," James saw the disbelieving look on Lily's face and felt a little hurt by it. "What, you think you're the only one who's changed since Hogwarts? Anyway, like I was saying, you caused me extraordinary pain and innumerable injuries and then I was dragged along on this trip of yours. We're long past that point."

Lily stared at James in shock for a moment and then, very slowly, a wry smile formed on her face. "You might be right. Get in the car, it's warmer."

James and Lily both got into the car and an unnatural silence descended on them. Both were waiting for the other to speak.

"Well?" They both asked at the same time. James was waiting for Lily to talk; Lily was waiting for him to ask the questions. The silence came again; this time Lily was the only one to break it.

"Ask your questions then," she said in a rather resigned tone.

James thought about it for a moment and then, "What's this all about?"

"I can't tell you a lot, just what I know, which isn't all that much. A month ago I had this dream and a guy got ran over before I could help him. For the next few weeks I was, shall we say haunted, by this man, each time he asked for my help. Eventually I got sick of it, went to Diagon Alley, bought the Orb, did the spell. The man appeared, Lee, he's called and he told me some sob story about his wife needing help and he gave me directions to get…Here. Except this isn't the place I saw in the dream."

James was silent as he processed all this information. "No," he said eventually.

"No?" Lily looked at him like he was crazy.

"That's not it."

"Yes, it is."

"No…Lily, what happened when you left Hogwarts? Why did you leave magic behind?"

"That's none of your business."

"You want me to start the rant again? Because I have other things to add now."

"Oh, yeah? Like what?"

"Like the fact that you were the brightest, smartest witch in Hogwarts with a strong possibility to be successful in whatever you chose to do. You could have gone far and then you dropped magic altogether. What happened?"

Lily looked through the front window stonily, refusing to talk. Her arms folded across her chest she glared at James until words started falling from her lips.

"I couldn't save them."

"Who?" James questioned gently.

"My parents. We were at home, it was late. We weren't meant to be there, we should have gone out to some benefit of my dad's but I wasn't feeling well so they stayed at home to look after me. Someone broke into the house, my dad tried to stop them but he got…and then my mum…I couldn't do anything to help them. They lay bleeding, dying on the floor and I couldn't help them. I threw so many curses at the guy; he was lucky the Ministry got there. And then there were paramedics and they took them to the hospital but they never made it. My parents died because I had a cold and I couldn't do a thing to save them."

Tears were streaming down her cheeks, her eyes were getting puffy but Lily didn't care, neither did James as he wrapped his arms around Lily and hugged her tightly to her chest. Her body racked with sobs and still he held her until the tears stopped and the shuddering subsided and then he let her pull away but held onto her shoulders, forcing her to look at him.

"It wasn't your fault, you know? You know magic can't save muggle-caused injuries. There was nothing you could do."

"But I could…What?"

"What?"

"Magic can't save muggle-caused injuries?"

"Well, cuts and scratches, sure. Not serious ones."

"But I've seen it work."

"No, you haven't," James answered softly. "You've seen magic-coated muggle-like injuries be healed. I thought everyone knew that."

"I don't…I did. I don't know. I was so upset, I gave up."

James nodded. "Well that's understandable, and that's your problem. Lily, what do you actually know about Defero Orbs?"

"They can house the spirits of the dead, joining them with the spell caster."

"That's it?"

"Well, that and they're really dangerous."

James nodded. "You really have been away a long time. The old Lily Evans would have studied about seventy different sources before she even considered using one."

Lily gave a short laugh. "The old Lily Evans? How would you know? You were too busy checking out your appearance at every available opportunity."

"I saw more than you think," James said cryptically. "But it seems the old Lily died the minute she got beautiful. Not that there's anything wrong with that, a lot of girls are just pure beauty…"

"How dare you!" She cried at him, her emerald eyes flashing with anger. "I have more brains than most of our year put together. Just because I haven't used magic in a while and have tried to stay away doesn't mean I don't still know things. I'm still the same."

"Yep, there she is," James commented with a sly grin. "You gave up a little on the academics though, didn't you?"

"No," Lily answered, ignoring the smug smile that had now appeared on his face. "I still do that, you can't change the habit of a lifetime. The only reason I didn't to get the Orb was because I was in a rush. So, what didn't I find out?"

"Alright, well, first, the spirits that are susceptible to the Orb are often bad spirits. Trapped on Earth for sins committed during life they haunt the living until they can do nothing but turn to the Defero Orb for a way out. Most people die trying to get the spell to work, others find that the persistence of the spirit increases once they've been connected and become so overworked that they die, too. Others try smashing the Orb, very few come out unharmed. Most need to be treated in hospital for burns or smoke inhalation, something like that. No good can come from using the Orb, the person who sold it to you should have warned you."

"She tried," Lily said quietly. "So did Dave."

"You should have listened," James pointed out obviously, earning a glare from Lily.

"Stop being obvious and help me. How am I going to get out of this?"

James looked to be considering her question, that is until he shrugged. "How am I supposed to know? I'm just here to give you information."

Lily looked at him in despair. "Please!"

"I'm sorry, I don't know."

Lily nodded solemnly. "Okay, my turn then."

"Your turn?"

"Yeah, you think you're the only one who gets to ask questions?" Lily gave him a small smile, which he returned wholeheartedly. "Okay, so first I want to know what happened that night."

"I don't remember," James answered mechanically.

"Liar," Lily returned in a similar way.

"What? I don't!"

"Yeah, you do. You might not remember but you know what happened. Even if you don't want to."

"You mean like repressed memories?" James asked, getting a nod off Lily in response. He considered this for a moment before thinking there might be some truth to that. "It's possible but they're repressed for a reason, aren't they?"

"Maybe," Lily said thoughtfully. "Alright, another question. If you don't let people see 'that much' until the third date what were you doing with that woman the first night you met her?"

James was silent, that was a good question. "I don't know, she was so beautiful and I did say 'usually'," he pointed out. "But I really don't know. There was something about her…And I made a bet with the guys…" Lily let out a disgusted tut at this declaration. "Yeah, like you're so perfect," James rolled his eyes at her.

"No," Lily answered. "But I wouldn't sleep with someone for a bet!"

"She knew all about it," James said in his defence.

"That really doesn't make it better," Lily answered in disgust. After a moment's silence where James considered Lily's words, Lily spoke again. "Are you sure she wasn't faking it? Trying to get attention."

"She wouldn't do that," James said certainly.

"How do you know? You only just met her."

"I know, but like I said, there was something…It made me trust her like I would with no one else."

"And that in itself didn't make you suspicious?"

"No, why would it?"

"I don't know but _something_ happened and I don't believe it was you who did it. In the, what, three weeks since it happened she's had how many interviews with the press. Think about it James, it's not like you'd be the only person to have been duped by a beautiful woman."

"Month," was all James said.

"What?" Lily asked with a frown.

"It wasn't three weeks. It happened a month ago. Four weeks tomorrow."

"You're kidding me?"

"No."

"You're kidding me?" Lily repeated. "You've _got_ to be kidding!"

* * *

**A/N: **My brother likes messing 'round and changing my stuff, I think I've caught all of them but if there's anything in here about James or Harry being gay, somebody farting and/or burping or Lily being ginger ignore it because the boy's an idiot! Also, just to show you how weird he is, this is what he's just written:

All of a sudden, out of nowhere, Kim appeared and scared them both so much they imploded and turned into Daniel Dae Kim and then Hurley ran in and they became the island beast and ate everyone. The end.

Like I said; idiot! (And for future reference it's now been dubbed the 'Hurley-Dae-Kim' beast.

Review me, whether you liked it or not. Bye!


	10. Truth

Lily didn't tell James what it was that he was meant to have been kidding about. He asked, of course, several times, but she refused to say, preferring to keep it quiet until she was sure. Part of him understood this but it didn't stop his need to know. As it got later they both reached an unspoken agreement to spend the night in Thurso before tackling the rest of the problem tomorrow. And so, before ten that night, a still recuperating James Potter was sound asleep while a troubled Lily Evans sat at a desk writing notes on a piece of bed and breakfast stationary.

At the centre of the page the words "things I know" were written in a circle, coming off from it were several lines. Lily muttered the words aloud in an effort to think of some more things.

"Me; 18th October I had the dream, which leads to Lee and the Defero Orb, James _was_ right when he said it was too easy. Lee lied to me, dragged me to the middle of nowhere, caused the accident and is still trying to get me to believe I'm not being used.

"James; a month ago (which makes it the 18th October, too) that incident happened. He has no recollection of that night but I don't think because he's repressed the memories. What he supposedly did was bad and if he did it he deserves being locked up but there shouldn't be such a high scale manhunt for him. His only option was to go on the run, where I ended up running him over because Lee got distracted and didn't warn me…

"It all comes down to Lee. Every single time. And the day, that's not a coincidence. It's Lee, it's all Lee."

She looked over at the single bed next to the one she would be sleeping in, James was still sound asleep. She watched him for about a minute, sighing at how peaceful he looked, much better than the previous night when he had been so pale and clammy, when he had nearly died. She felt a little jealous that he should be able to sleep so peacefully when whenever she closed her eyes she was hit by images of people getting run over, and when she got past that she was plagued by thoughts of what was going on. The ulterior motives of the spirit haunting her. She wrote a note telling James where she would be if he woke up and then she gave a sad smile before leaving the room to take a walk along the coast of Thurso.

"So what's this all about?" She asked aloud once she was outside.

Feigning ignorance, the response came out clearly, _"All what?"_

"Don't play dumb with me, you know full well what I mean. I know something's going on, I just want you to tell me what."

"I don't know what you're talking about," Lee continued. "You're going to have to be a little more specific."

"More specific?" Lily cried. "You want be to be more specific? How about the dragging me into the middle nowhere, the haunting and whatever's going on with James. You expect me to believe that's coincidence? What's this all about?"

"_You're not supposed to know yet," _Lee answered simply.

"What?" Lily screeched. "What do you mean, I'm not supposed to know yet. Why not?"

"_Because it's not for you to know, to question. This is what is meant to be, this is what is meant to happen. You can not stop it, what is meant to be _will_ happen and there's nothing you can do about it."_

"I don't…I _need _answers. I'm going to sleep, when I wake up you're going to give me them, whether I'm meant to know them or not. If you don't I'm going to smash your little glass home, I don't care what the consequences are because I don't think anything bad will happen to me. Not really. I think you're protecting me, and if not you then someone, and they don't want to see me dead so I can do pretty much whatever I want at this point. That means I call the call shots. You have a few hours."

Now, normally she would turn and storm away at this point but since she needed to take the Orb with her she pocketed it before walking swiftly back to the bed and breakfast, trying to be quiet so as not to disturb the owners and other guests.

She had a fitful nights sleep but she did at least get some, waking around half eight to find James still fast asleep. He'd been asleep for over ten hours now and it worried her somewhat. She crept over to his bed, he still looked peaceful but there was something different to the way he had looked the previous night. She put a hand onto his forehead, checking the heat coming from it. James stirred slightly in his sleep but didn't wake. Lily's hand moved from his forehead, which was a normal temperature, through his fringe, which was matted to his head. James hand clamped down on her wrist suddenly, making her jump.

"I seem to remember you telling me I looked like a prat when I did that," he murmured sleepily.

Lily let out a small laugh. "Well you did, trying to make it look like you'd just gotten off a broomstick," she still spoke with a hint of scornfulness in her voice. "You do now too, but it looks better than it did. Bed hair everywhere."

"Because your hair looks so perfect," James retorted sarcastically as he sat up. "What's on for today then?"

"I don't know yet," Lily answered as she stepped away from James to perch on her bed. "Hopefully I'll be able to go home today since this was obviously a wild goose chase…"

"Oh," James answered sadly.

"What?" Lily asked, noticing his tone.

"Nothing," he replied hastily. "I was just hoping you'd be travelling for a couple more days, join me in my life on the run."

Lily smiled wryly. "As much as that appeals to me I have a cat waiting for me and a life to get back to. Plus, I hardly know you."

"You've known me for nearly ten years," he pointed out.

"Yeah, and in the past day I've spoken to you more than in those whole years put together," she replied in a similarly obvious way.

"That doesn't mean you don't know me."

"Yeah, it does," Lily answered, the same sadness in her voice that James' had held a couple of minutes earlier. "I got to go for a walk, try and sort this out, I'll be back in a little bit, okay?"

"Yeah," James answered, rubbing a hand across his face. "I'm going to take a shower while you're out."

"Okay," Lily said, getting into the bathroom before James to get changed. When she came out James was holding her jacket out for her.

"It's cold outside," he smiled at her. She took it and kissed him on the cheek in thanks before leaving.

"Alright, I want the truth now," she told Lee sharply.

- - - -

As Lily and James had slept that night, Lee had spoken with his superior.

"She's more strong-willed than we first thought, and she's more clever. I think she knows the truth, she just needs confirmation and I believe she _will_ smash the Orb if I don't tell her."

"But it is not for her to know," the voice answered him. "If she knew she would refuse."

"I know," Lee answered. "But if we don't tell her she'll refuse anyway."

"So basically she's going to refuse either way? The fate of the world hangs in the balance and it might end because that little girl is too stubborn to just let things happen?"

"Except, its not just letting things happen, is it? If we'd let things happen they would have carried on and never met up again. We've meddled to make this happen, we should at least let her know!"

"We needed to meddle," the voice told Lee. "If the ones before us hadn't meddled three years ago we wouldn't have this problem now. This wasn't meant to happen. The end result would be the same but it wasn't meant to happen this way. They weren't supposed to die, he wasn't supposed to go to Australia, and she wasn't supposed to give up magic. Things happen, even predestined plans can get messed up, and we are meant to prevent that. We failed. We're trying to make up for it now but she won't let us. Well this is getting ridiculous. She has no right to know. No right at all."

"No right?" Lee echoed the words. "This is her life we're playing around with, her life we've already messed up several times already. She has every right to know. I'm going to tell her."

"No," the voice instructed loudly. "She can not know. You said yourself she'd refuse."

"But at least she'd have that choice," Lee answered. "I'm telling her," he repeated more certainly, ignoring the protests that came his way now.

- - - -

"Lee, some time today," she snapped irritably after just thirty seconds silence.

"_Alright," _he answered immediately. _"You might want to sit down."_

Lily scanned the surrounding area; there was a small wooden bench a little further up the road. "Ok, I'm going, now start."

"_Alright,"_ Lee repeated, Lily heard him take a breath. _"So, you might have guessed already that I didn't actually die the way you dreamy it."_

"It had crossed my mind," Lily muttered.

Lee ignored her and continued. _"I died nearly two and a half years ago, I fell off a ride in a theme park, not the best way to go but hardly the worst."_ Lily didn't even flicker at his joke. _"Okay,"_ Lee continued. _"Well, after I died I was sent to a sort a sort of afterlife committee where I was 'employed'. They're kind of like the powers-that-be, we make sure that everything goes right and the line of fate doesn't get messed up. Every five years a new committee is formed, the current one was created three years ago…"_

"My final year at Hogwarts," Lily put in.

"_Yes,"_ Lee answered_. "Well, the one before us made a lot of mistakes."_

"Mistakes?"

"_They were more concerned with individuals than the bigger plan. If someone was having a bad time of it they tried to improve their life rather than wait to let what would happen, happen"_

Lily frowned, "Where is this going?"

"You'll see. James was having a bad time, so your final year they made sure he spent his Christmas in Australia."

"I remember, it was a peaceful holiday."

Though Lily couldn't see it, Lee smiled. _"Well, if he had stayed like he was supposed to you two would have got friendly."_

"Friendly?" Lily questioned tightly. "How friendly are we talking, exactly?"

"_Well, you'd be married by now,"_ Lee answered matter-of-factly.

"Excuse me? What?"

"_You'd be married,"_ Lee answered. _"But moving past you and James would have gotten together that February, which means the first week after you finished you would have gone to Italy with James instead of staying at home. In fact, your whole family would have gone so…"_

"We wouldn't have been at home," Lily finished, her mind going into shock. "You're telling me that not only should I be married right now but that my parents should still be alive?" She all-but shouted this last bit.

"Lily –" 

"No! You screwed up my life and then you dragged me out here for nothing. You don't get to 'Lily' me."

"You weren't dragged out for nothing."

Lily was muttering something under her breath so it took a while for Lee's words to sink in. "What?"

"You weren't dragged out for nothing. Before the line was messed up you and James were supposed to get together, that still has to happen. The point of you coming out was so that you and he would meet once more."

"Why?"

"Hmm?" 

"Why is it so important for James and I to get married?"

"_There are some things I can't tell you,"_ Lee told her.

Lily glared even though Lee couldn't see it. "But it's important?"

"Very. The fate of the world hangs on it."

"No," Lily answered, she sounded slightly horrified but Lee didn't pick it up.

"What do you mean 'no'?" 

"I mean it's not going to happen. I don't know James, he doesn't know me, and I have no plans to get to know him as much as I would if I married him. I just want to go home, play with my cat and get on with my life. I'm not going to marry a guy just because you tell me the world is in danger if I don't."

"You don't think there's something noble about marrying a man to save the world?" 

"Call me selfish, but no."

"Then you're selfish."

"I'm not the one who is all but blackmailing someone to get their own way," she spat at him. "I mean, how do I even know anything you've said is true?"

"You don't," Lee answered. "You just have to trust me."

Lily let out a snort. "You've said that before."

"Well this time you can."

Lily ignored him. "What's going to happen?"

"_I can't tell you,"_ Lee reiterated.

"Of course," Lily muttered. "Of course. Tell me one thing then."

"Sure."

"If it's so important that James and I get together why let him endanger himself to the point that I nearly killed him?"

"You wouldn't have killed him, we would never let it get that far. We just needed you two to stick together."

"What do you mean?"

- - - -

James was in the shower when he heard the muffled shouts, he finished washing the remaining shampoo out of his hair before he got out to pin point its origin. A towel around his waist he picked up his clothes and walked into his room, the noise was louder now, more defined.

"James," it was calling. "James, hurry up!"

James knew that voice, a grin broke out on his face when he realised who it was. He reached into the bottom of his bag and grabbed a hand mirror. Sirius' face appeared, grinning broadly.

"Finally!" The was a moments silence from his friend and then, "What the Hell happened to you?"

"What?" James asked in confusion.

"What happened to you? You look like…there's a bandage on your head and cuts and bruises everywhere."

"Yeah…I had a little accident but I'm fine, don't worry."

"Sure? Okay then. So where are you?"

"I'm not sure that's such a good idea to say."

"But it's alright," Sirius answered him. "You're free. You've been announced innocent, you should get the letter in the next hour or so depending on where you are."

"Scotland," James answered him. "I'm in Scotland. I can come home?"

Sirius' image nodded in the glass of the mirror, Sirius opened his mouth to say something but it was unheard as a loud bang sounded. "What was that?" He asked as a shout of "James!" Was heard. "Was that a woman? You're with a woman? You sly stag!"

"Shut up, I have to go." James put the mirror away before focussing on Lily, who was still stood in the doorway looking angry, upset and fearful. "What is it? What happened?"

"He…You and me…It was…"

"Lily? Lily! Take a deep breath and sit down here," he led her to her bed, pulling her to sit down. He put his arm around her shoulder and brought her to him. "Tell me what happened."

Lily did as she was instructed, she told him everything that Lee had told her until she got to James' involvement.

"He said we were supposed to meet up again, that whole thing with that girl in the hotel? They set it up so that this would happen. So that you would go on the run and we'd end up meeting again. I don't know, they thought we'd fall in love or something. Fall in love in a day. It's stupid and manipulative and really, really unfair!"

James smiled at her, an action that didn't go unnoticed by Lily.

"How can you possibly see enough good in this to smile?"

James' smile didn't falter once. "Well, I know that the both of us have been messed with by these guys but they did do _some_ good."

"How?"

"You really have to ask?" James asked surprised. Lily looked at him blankly. "Well, I got a new friend out of this whole thing. We're going to stay in touch right?"

Lily raised an eyebrow at him. "You want to stay in touch? I nearly killed you! And what about your life on the run?"

"Well," James answered as his smile grew brighter. "Turns out my innocence has been proven. I should get the letter in a little bit. And so what if you nearly killed me? You saved my life and I don't just mean by healing me. I think we'd make good friends, maybe that will be enough for the committee."

"We'd still talk, we'd act together if we needed to. I guess that's all they need from us. It's stupid of them to expect anything more of us." Lily rambled the sentences quickly.

"Lily, breathe."

"Sorry, I'm getting hysterical again, aren't I?"

James nodded and laughed. "Alright, well, I think we're both okay to go now, aren't we?"

Lily nodded. "It's not like I needed to come here anyway," she commented bitterly.

"Okay, well, can I have your address? I'll owl you and we can meet up sometime."

"That sounds good," Lily smiled at him. "Promise you will? You're not going to be one of those guys who gets a girls number and then never calls?"

"Well, for a start I don't even know what that means but I promise. In fact I'm going to arrange to meet you two days from now, we can go into Hogsmeade."

"No," Lily answered.

"Okay, another day then, you pick."

"No, that's not what I mean. The day is fine; I'm just not ready to go back into the magical world that fully right now. I did like Hogsmeade though…Especially at Christmas."

"Maybe we can go there next month then?" James suggested.

"Yeah, maybe," Lily answered doubtfully.

"What?" James asked.

"Nothing," she answered quickly. "So, there's a muggle bar opposite the _Leaky Cauldron_. You want to meet there?"

James thought for a moment. "What's it called?"

"The bar? _Lemmi's_. It's nice."

"Yeah, I know it. Okay."

They went into a comfortable silence. James took his arm off Lily's shoulder; he'd forgot it was even there. They sat like that for a few minutes until a quiet hooting could be heard. They both turned to see a small owl sat on the window ledge. James, with a grin on his face, got up and took the letter from the owl, which hooted once more before flying away.

"'Dear Mr. Potter'," James read aloud. "'We are pleased to inform you that you are no longer under suspicion for the attack on Miss Heather Longstraum. The charges have been dropped and it appears that the allegations against you were false, made up by Miss Longstraum in an attempt to get attention. Obviously you have the full apologies of the Ministry and a statement will be issued denouncing you of any involvement in this incident.' Well, it's nice to know the Ministry can still hold its head high," James commented as he screwed the parchment into a ball.

Lily laughed and gave James a hug. "I'm happy for you," she whispered to him as she pulled away.

She began to gather up the few things she had taken from her bag.

"What are you doing?" James asked her.

"Well, you'll want to go home and I should start making tracks, too."

"You want to get breakfast first?"

"I've not got that much money left," she answered him, almost embarrassed. "I need to save what I've got for petrol."

"My shout."

"You don't have any either," Lily pointed out with a laugh. "But, I'm sure the owners won't mind giving us a few pieces of toast to see us on our way."

"Sounds good to me," James said as he too grabbed his bag and they left the room.

Half an hour later they made their separate ways, James disapparated back to his home, Lily began the long drive back to Sussex. Neither of them realised until it was too late that they hadn't arranged a time to meet up or that Lily had forgotten to give him her address. Nor did they know what this feeling of loss was that was slowly creeping up on them.

* * *

**A/N: **We're nearly at the end, there's just one last chapter left, sort of an epilogue-like chapter, tying everything up nicely. I hope you've enjoyed it up to now. Tell me what you think. 


	11. Different but the Same

"Oh, James! We're so sorry we didn't believe you," his mother wrapped her arms around him in a tight hug.

The more James tried to wriggle from her grip the tighter she held him. "Mum? Mum? Mum!"

She still wouldn't release him so James glanced over at his dad, sending him a pleading glance.

"Mary, let him go. He can't breathe."

"What?" Mary raised her head startled and looked at her son. When she realised he was bright purple she hastily let him go. "Oh, my! Sorry."

"It's fine," James gasped for air. "Everything's fine."

"We really are sorry about everything," Mary repeated for the hundredth time.

"I know," James answered, sounding a little distant but neither of his parents seemed to pick up on it.

"And of course you're welcome home again. We never really believed it all, we were just in shock."

"You were," James muttered. "Mum, it's alright. Everything's back to normal." He gave a little sigh. "But I don't think I am going to be moving back in."

"What? Why not? You know you're always welcome."

"I know," James agreed. "But I think it's time I moved on and out, stand on my own two feet."

"But –"

Mary's objections were cut off as James' father, who until then had been stoically silent, spoke up. "Mary, it's time for him to grow up. Let him go."

"But Frank –"

"Mary," he silenced her with one gentle word. "It's time."

Small tears formed in Mary's eyes and James watched with a disjointed sympathy as they fell. Of course, this was his mum and he didn't want to see her in pain but she had so readily thrown him out without hearing his side of the story simply because of Magical prejudices and now that he was proven innocent she was acting like nothing had happened. It was too much for him to handle, he had to leave. His dad, at least, understood.

"I know," she sniffed. "That doesn't mean I want him to leave."

James rolled his eyes as he felt impatience begin to burn in his stomach. "I'll come to dinner on Sunday," he told her. "It's not like you'll never see me again."

She sniffed again while she nodded. "Good."

- - - -

Lily felt like she'd been driving forever. Maybe she had. In the past three days she had driven the length of three countries and back with a grand total of eight hours sleep and four hours break. She'd been played with, she'd been used and she'd nearly killed a guy. She sighed.

"_Maybe the magical world wasn't such a bad place after all."_

His voice made her jump and the car swerved slightly at her involuntary shaking of the wheel. It did, at least, serve to drift her thoughts away from the dark place they were headed.

"Leave me alone," she cried as she regained control of her car. "I don't want to hear from you again."

"_Tough," _Lee retorted. _"You should have thought about that before you used the Orb."_

"You should have given me another choice!" She spat at him angrily.

"_What is your problem? I told you the truth."_

"You shouldn't have had to because you shouldn't have messed with my life in the first place."

"_It needed to be done."_

"I don't believe you."

"_Your choice," _Lee answered casually. _"But will you tell me one thing?"_

"Why should I?"

"_You shouldn't but I'd like to know."_

Lily, against her better judgement agreed. "Fine, one question but then you leave me alone."

Lee made no agreement or disagreement to her proposal. _"Tell me that you haven't had fun these past three days. That for just a little while you forgot about everything that had led up to this moment and were able to smile and laugh and be yourself for a change."_

The words hit Lily fast and furiously and her eyes stung with tears she refused to shed. "I haven't and I didn't," she lied.

- - - -

"So," Frank spoke behind James. "You're really doing this?"

James stood up from under his bed, where he had been searching for his broom, and looked at his father.

"Yeah," he answered. "I really am."

Frank nodded. "I'm proud of you."

"What?"

"You heard me," Frank said, refusing to repeat himself.

James nodded. "I did, but why?"

Frank studied him a moment or two. "There's not many could have faced what you did and would have the nerve to show their faces again. But you have, it takes a strong man to do that."

James beamed at the compliment from his father. His father wasn't a very emotional man so when he came out with these kinds of comments they were to be valued immensely. Hearing it filled part of the emptiness James had been feeling since he got back.

- - - -

Nine that night, Lily was home but there was nowhere she hated to be more at that moment. To see these sadly familiar walls and hear the familiar humming of her freezer depressed her in ways it never had before. She needed to get out of here. She dumped her bag and left again, got back into her car and drove the fifteen-minute journey to Dave's.

"Coming," she heard Dave's voice shout through the closed door.

A small smile played on Lily's lips at the thought of seeing the things that had comforted her so much in the past two years; Dave and Sooty, her best friends.

"Lily," he sounded surprised to see her.

"Hey," she smiled at him warmly. "Everything okay?"

"Yeah, yeah, everything's great," he looked past her and out onto the street on which she was stood. "What are you doing here?"

She frowned at his odd behaviour. "You sure? You seem a little…distracted."

"Yeah, it's all good. Come on in."

"Thanks," she said unsurely but followed him in. "So, how's Sooty?"

At mention of his name, the grey and white cat stalked into the hall and curled his way through between Lily's legs. Lily bent down and picked him up, he purred contentedly in her arms making her smile.

"He's been good, been out most of the time, came back to eat."

"What?" Lily turned to Dave. "You let him out?"

"Yeah, that's what cats do."

"Not this one, Sooty doesn't go out."

Dave shrugged, "Seemed to like it enough when he was let out."

Lily ignored Dave and inspected Sooty closely, he didn't look injured. "Yeah, okay," she said, too tired to argue with him.

Dave nodded thoughtfully. "So, what happened?" He asked as he led her to the living room.

"When?"

"On your trip," Dave said in a rather condescending tone.

"Oh, yeah," despite the disappointment she'd endured a smile crept across Lily's face. "I met up with James Potter."

"Oh yeah? There was a report on him in the _Prophet_, claimed he was innocent." He sounded disbelieving.

"He is," Lily defended quickly. "He's changed, too."

"Yeah, okay then," he sounded scornful.

"He has," Lily repeated.

"I believe you," he really didn't sound like he did.

She huffed quietly. "Anything good happened while I was gone?"

"Well, uh –" He was cut off by the sound of knocking at his door.

He got up and all but ran to answer it. From her place in the living room Lily could hear Dave talking to another woman at the door and then the door closed and the voices got louder and closer. She stood up as Dave and the woman entered the room.

"Lily, this is Jeanne, my girlfriend. Jeanne, my best friend Lily."

"Hi," Jeanne answered pleasantly. She was tall, slim, had honey-blonde hair, green eyes and a warm aura about her.

"Hi," Lily said shaking Jeanne's hand with her free arm. "Look, I'm interrupting, I'll leave you two to it."

"No, don't be silly," Jeanne answered. "You two need to catch up."

"No, we can do it another time," Lily told her, turning to Dave. "Thank you for looking after Sooty. I'll see you soon." And then she put Sooty in his carrier, which was situated near the front door, and left for her car. She put Sooty on the passenger seat and stared out of the front window. "Everything's the same but really, really different."

"_That's what happens when your life changes," _Lee informed her.

Instead of responding she growled before putting her car into gear and driving away.

- - - -

"Welcome to the life of bachelorhood," Sirius declared, raising his bottle in a toast-like way. His three friends all clinked bottles.

"Yeah," James replied distantly taking a sip from his bottle. "Great."

Sirius frowned. "You sound like that's not such a good thing."

"No," James shook his head. "It's a wonderful thing." He still didn't sound convinced but the others dropped the subject as Peter proceeded to tell them about a man he had met at work.

"Be back in a minute," James interrupted quietly, standing up and leaving the room.

James walked into the small bathroom in Sirius', and temporarily his, flat and ran the cold water. He splashed some on his face and stared at his reflection for a few minutes until a figure appeared behind him in the mirror.

"Everything's the same," he said aloud as he turned.

"Well, yeah," Sirius answered with a smile. "What did you expect?"

"I don't know," James admitted. "But I've been gone a month and all this has happened and I just keep expecting everything to be different."

"In what way?"

"Well…I really don't know. I can't explain it."

Sirius nodded, "I get it."

"No," James shook his head slightly. "You don't but that's okay."

"You could tell me," Sirius suggested.

"No," James said once more, his smile becoming more like the one he had smiled a little over a month ago. "I don't need to. If you'd been there, you'd understand but you weren't and you're still willing to try. That's all I need to hear."

Sirius nodded. "This has really affected you, huh?"

"I guess I just see what everyone meant when they said there's a bigger world out there and we need to grow up to fit in."

Sirius was silent a minute as he considered James' words. "But we don't need to do it all at once, do we? It can be a gradual thing?" He sounded almost scared at the thought.

James laughed. "Of course."

"Good," Sirius answered, a small grin creeping onto his face. "Because Remus and Peter are in the middle of trying to see who can fit the most peanuts up there noses."

"And we're missing it? Come on!" James led the way back to the living area where they had all been sat and, sure enough, Remus and Peter were competing to see who could fit the most in their nose. It wasn't long before Peter was declared winner and James and Sirius began trying it. Laughter filled the room; James' soft but masculine tones, Sirius' barking laughter, Remus' deep and calming sounds and Peter's squeaky giggles. It was like music to the ears as the sounds mingled, reminding them all that together they were home.

- - - -

When Lily got back to her flat she flopped down onto her bed, she was asleep almost instantly. Her dreams started peaceful but they soon became infected with memories and fears. Right back to the night her parents were killed to their funeral when Petunia had disowned her. Her life since then in flashing images, the drudgery she'd lived and the hardships she faced. And then there were images of Lee; covered in blood, looking scared and finally with a bright smile. Next were images of James. He was on the ground, arms and legs sprawled, head at an odd angle. Another of him in the car, looking peaceful as he slept and a final one, a sad, sorry look on his face as they said goodbye. Another image, this time of the Orb and Lily choking on the mist it created and a final one before Lily awoke. The scene played in her mind as she slammed on the brakes to try and stop from slamming into the animal before her. Animal.

Lily awoke to a light-filled room but the image of a stag hovered darkly behind her eyes for a few moments.

"It's not…Unless…But no…"

She got up and grabbed the bag she had travelled with, spilling its contents onto her bed. Somewhere in the messy pile was her wand. She took hold of it and found a scrap piece of paper.

"Locari James Potter," she said quietly. On the paper an address appeared; _Flat 34c, Dreham House, Faldron Road, London_.

She considered for a moment what to do next and then the answer hit her loud and clear.

"_Do it,"_ Lee agreed, not that his opinion mattered much to Lily anymore.

- - - -

"…So how about tomorrow we go out and _really_ celebrate your return?" Sirius asked jovially a little later that morning.

"Well, I have plans for tomorrow but tomorrow night sounds good to me," James answered, equally as happy.

Remus glowered at them both from behind a mug of coffee. "More drinking? You two must have hollow legs or something. My head feels like it's going to implode."

"Nice image there Moony," Sirius commented with a rub of his hands. "Who's for choc chip, blueberry pancakes?"

"Sounds good to me," James remarked as a knock sounded at the door.

Sirius was too busy in the kitchen to hear abut Remus gave a moan of pain at the sound. Peter was still in bed so James rolled his eyes. "I'll get that then, shall I?"

James opened the door and a brighter smile lit up his already happy face. "Lily!" He cried sounding like they'd been apart for a year, not a day.

Lily returned his smile equally. "James, hey. Are you doing anything?" She asked him cautiously, commenting about the two men stood in the background, looking surprised and interested and with hints of amusement.

"No," he said, ignoring Sirius and Remus. "Come on in, Sirius was just about to make pancakes, do you want some?"

"Uh…" She looked inside and around, eyes landing on Sirius and Remus again. "I'm not –"

"Sure you do," James said, taking hold of her wrist and pulling her into the room. "Guys, this is Lily, she's staying for pancakes."

"Hey," Sirius waved a spatula at her before heading back into the kitchen.

Remus, who seemed to have sobered up as his amusement grew, seemed to be studying her closely. "Lily? Lily Evans?"

"Yeah," she answered shyly.

"Hey, you probably don't remember us. I'm –"

"Remus Lupin, and that's Sirius Black. You were part of the Marauders, with," she looked around the room. "Peter Pettigrew. Did you guys ditch him? He always creeped me out."

From in the kitchen Sirius could be heard laughing, James chuckled and Remus gave a smile. "Actually he's asleep next door, we had a late night."

Lily blushed at this. "Oh, well obviously what I meant…"

James' laughter got louder. "Don't worry about it," he told her. "You're not the first person to say it, I doubt you'll be the last."

She nodded but she still felt guilty.

Remus sat back at the counter between the kitchen and the main area but sat leaning on it, facing James and Lily. "So, what brings you here?"

"Well, James and I are meant to be meeting up –"

"But not until tomorrow, right?" James interrupted her, wondering for a minute if he had the wrong day.

"Right," Lily answered him before turning back to Remus. "We're meant to be meeting up but I needed to talk to James first and I had no plans for today so I came up here."

"'Up here'? Where've you come from?"

"Sussex," she answered just as Sirius came out of the kitchen with a plate full of pancakes.

"Remus, leave the poor girl alone. At least until after pancakes," Sirius swatted him with the spatula just as he set the pancakes down.

"Yes, mum," Remus muttered as he headed into the kitchen, coming back a second later with a bottle of maple syrup.

Each of the boys grabbed themselves some pancakes. "Help yourself," Sirius told her welcomingly. "And tell me, what was it you wanted to talk to our little Jamesy-poo about?"

James scowled at him but his eyes danced happily, Lily laughed. "I'd rather ask him in private."

"Ooh," Sirius jeered.

James rolled his eyes, offering the syrup to Lily.

The rest of their meal passed well enough. Conversation was light and easy, Lily fit in well with the bantering between them and conversation drifted to past times a couple of times. Not long after they had finished Peter woke up and came into the room.

"Aww, I missed pancakes? Why didn't anyone wake me up?"

Sirius looked at him sympathetically. "Sorry, Wormtail. You just seemed dead to the world."

"Yeah, I'm sure," he huffed quietly as he headed to the kitchen.

- - - -

"So, what did you want to ask me?" James asked a little later.

They were both outside, walking around a small park close to the flat.

"Well, I'm not really sure how to ask and of course you're allowed to refuse to answer me or call me crazy but…"

"Lily?"

"So, I'm rambling again. Okay," she took a deep breath. "Are you an illegal animagus?"

James' smile faltered for less than a second but it was still there. "Why would you think that?"

"I don't know," she shrugged. "It's just something I've been thinking. I mean, the night I knocked you over, I really am sorry about that, but I swear it wasn't you I knocked over. It wasn't even a person, it was an animal. A deer…with antlers."

"A stag," James corrected.

"Sorry?"

"It was a stag. I can turn into a stag."

"But you're not registered, how come?"

James studied her for a moment. "That's something I'm not going to answer right now."

She nodded, "Fair enough."

"_You'll find out soon enough," _Lee told her.

Lily let out a strangled cry of annoyance. James looked at her oddly.

"Are you alright?" He asked her.

"Yeah, it's just…I need your help."

"What is it?"

"I feel so cheeky asking you this, after everything that's happened."

"After everything that's happened that's exactly why you shouldn't, so go on."

"Alright, um, it's this Orb."

"What about it?"

"I need to get rid of it," she told him. "Break the connection."

"Lily, you know how dangerous that is?"

"I don't care."

"It could tear you apart, separate your soul from your consciousness. You'd become a shell of a person."

"I don't care," she repeated more defiantly.

James nodded; worry etched across the frown lines on his face. "We need to talk to Remus." He put his arm over her shoulder, bringing her closer to him when she shivered. He led the way back to the flat, breathing in the scent of lemon and chocolate that surrounded them.

- - - -

"I can do it but it's not going to be easy," Remus told her softly. "It's very –"

"Dangerous, yes, I know," Lily said irritably. "But I need to do it." She almost laughed at her words, _need to do it_, how many times had she said that in the last couple of days?

"Okay, well first we need to go back to your place."

Lily nodded but stayed quiet.

- - - -

"This is where you live?" James asked, slight hesitation in his voice.

Lily turned to him. "I forgot how much of a snob you are."

"I'm not a snob!" he protested. "It's just that, well, it's a little small, isn't it?"

She shrugged. "It's cosy."

"It's a sardine can," Sirius put in as he passed Lily to inspect the flat himself. "And kind of drab."

Lily shot a look at James and Sirius and then turned to Remus. "While those two discuss interiors how about you and me get this done?"

Remus beamed at her, "Sounds good to me. First off, where was the spell cast?"

"My bedroom, through there," she pointed to the door that concealed her bedroom. "Do we need to be in there?"

"Yeah," Remus nodded, striding off.

James' head whipped up and he watched the two of them walk into her bedroom and close the door behind them.

"I think we should be in there, too. Offer support and all that."

"Whatever you say," Sirius teased.

James shot him a confused look and followed Remus and Lily through the door.

"Okay, what spell did you use?"

"Um…_Ostendestri_."

"You're sure?"

"Yeah."

"Okay. Sit down."

Lily did as she was told, Sirius and James sat either side of her at right angles, James took her hand. "I'll make sure you're safe," he promised her, she smiled at him weakly. Remus lit four candles placing them all infront of each of them as he sat opposite Lily.

"Put the Orb in the centre."

Lily did so, Lee's face hovered in the glass for a moment.

"Are you really going to go through with this?" 

Lily ignored the voice, she wasn't going to let it have any effect on her any longer.

"You got your wand?" She waved it at Remus in response. "Okay then, point it at the Orb, you want to say _Renolestri_."

She nodded, aimed her wand and cried, "Renolestri!"

A small crack formed in the glass, spreading and getting wider by the second. Grey mist seeped through getting thicker and thicker, Lee appeared.

"Leave," Remus said boldly. "Go back to your plane and let this girl be."

"_My work here is not yet done."_

"Yes, it is." James was speaking this time, with rather a lot of force for man who had only really known Lily for a couple of days.

"No, my work is not done until –" 

"Your work is done," James reiterated.

As they spoke the mist got thicker, heading towards Lily. A now familiar feeling came over her as her breathing got heavy. She tried to take in air but it was like inhaling cotton wool. She couldn't breathe, it began to get dark. She could hear voices but it was just noise as darkness took over.

- - - -

"Is she awake? I see her moving."

"Let me see."

Lily's eyes slowly fluttered open. The first thing she saw was James' face. "Hey," he greeted. "How're you feeling?"

She opened her mouth to speak but was hit by a coughing fit.

"Moony, get some water," she heard Sirius say in the background. Half a minute later she was being handed a glass of water. She took a sip and then another.

"Where am I?" She knew it wasn't her flat.

"Just Sirius' couch, I'm afraid. You passed out and there was a lot of smoke damage at your place. Besides, we decided you shouldn't live there anymore."

"You what? What happened?"

"Everything got sorted out, Lee's going to leave you alone and we sent him off with a warning that if anything else happened that could be traced back to them they were going to hope we never died."

Lily looked at him in amusement until she realised he wasn't joking. "Sooty?"

"The cat? Over there," Lily wriggled into a sitting postion and saw where James was pointing. Sirius was playing with the cat.

"I always imagined Sirius as a dog person," she commented lightly.

"More than you know," Remus muttered.

"So, why am I here?"

"I told you, smoke damage at your place."

"And...?"

"Yeah, we thought you'd prefer it here with us."

"Why would I do that? It can barely fit you three."

"Well, Remus doesn't live here and I'm just crashing until I get my own place. I was hoping..."

"Yeah?"

"Well, do you want to get a place with me? We make a good team."

Lily didn't even have to think about, "Sounds good to me."

"Aww," Sirius said to Remus while looking at Sooty. "Doesn't it just make you sick to see something so cute?"

And so it all began. Lily would once again become a part of the wizarding world and she and James would begin dating and later marry. They would have a child and be killed in saving the world. Their child, Harry, would become a champion of the people. Sirius would be best man and later a godfather, he was to be arrested for their murder, though his innocence would later be proven after he, too, was killed. Peter would betray them all to his master, Voldemort. He would later die at the wand of one Ron Weasley in a bloody battle. Remus would spend a long time suffering being the only of his group left, after the war was finally over he would marry and have several children. Dave and Lily would lose touch, though he would mourn her death, he would marry Jeanne but no child would be born for she would die during the first of the two great wars. Lee and the committee would no longer meddle in the affairs of individuals. Committee members would be selected after careful consideration to ensure no such situation would arise again. Deaths would happen and loss would be experienced on a greater scale than ever before but for just a couple of years there was happiness for the Marauders and their one female member.

**

* * *

A/N: Well, this ended up longer than it was meant to be but I like it. That's the end:'( Did you like it? I did. I want to thank everyone who's read it and eveyone who's reviewed. I'm giving you a poem to read just before I finish completely (And I know it's bad, but tough :P): **

_Rain streams the window like tears down her face.  
She tries to think back to the time, the place,  
Remember the days when things were easy  
When life didn't make her quite so queasy._

_His life should be perfect in every way,  
But it seems to get worse with every day.  
Can't seem to find happiness in a world of fear,  
Can't see what he wants is oh, so near._

_Things get too much, she runs away,  
Fear turns to doubt, he must get away.  
Two souls, so very different but also the same  
About to start that which cannot be tamed._

_Apart they could be anything,  
Together they are everything.  
Their turn to see what was always clear,  
To get that which they both hold dear._

_She'll give it all up in a moment,  
He'll accept her like she's heaven sent.  
And the time will come, later than should be,  
And the world will see, they'll all be free._

**Sorry, I'm not sure what made me write the poem but I just had to. Review the story for me, I don't care about the poem, I just want to hear what you all thought. No reviews for the last 4 chapters so I'm getting a little worried... Yeah, hope you enjoyed it!**

**Rae**


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